Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
2008-04-15 00:09:55 (UTC)

Mon. April 14, 08**

Good Afternoon!

I'm feeling really good today. Like i don't have a care in
the world! Which is odd...

I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied yet. I'm
feeling pretty confident or I just don't give a shit about
it. I'm sure i'll get a 50% on it. I'll just review before
going to bed, then tomorrow i'll be at school early and so
i'll review one more time. :)

I don't know why i'm feeling the way i'm feeling. I really
hope i don't get a surprised tomorrow before going into my
exam room.

I think my heads are in the clouds. I'm really looking
forward to summer. I have so much to do this summer, I can't
wait. I also can't wait to get school out of my mind for 4
months. Every single day 'what do i have to read today?' '
i shouldn't go out, i have to read' Now I can just relax.

So my mother told me that I don't have a good friend. I
wonder who it could be. Jessy is really getting on my
nerves. But is it her? Is it a guy? Could it be danny or
joana? I'm really curious.

Danny and I aren't on good terms for the past week. Ever
since my boyfriend called and he saw me giggling with my
girl friend and showing my other friend pictures, he became
distant with me that day. When we went to another friend's
house and we sat beside each other. I rubbed his head for
whatever reason and he moved away from me. He never behaved
that way with me, which really upset me. Later on that day
I found out he likes or liked me. I was pretty upset about
it. I felt like after all this time he's been asking me to
go out on his days off was only because he had a motive. It
really got me mad! He's my good friend, he shouldn't behave
that way and he shouldn't be upset that I like another guy
or that i'm taken. He should have said something or fuckin
grown up and let it happen and just stay my friend. My
friend also told me that he gets really territorial. I
belong to no guy. period. This guy isn't going to stop me
friend dating any guy. Even if he doesnt talk to me, who
gives a fuck. No one controls me.

i think it could be my fault. i was a bit flirty. nooooo.
i'm not really that flirty. ya, he fed me nachos, but
whatever! we were just having a good ol' time. But he
probably didn't see it that way.

**** Give scenarios and ask guys what they think the girl is
trying to say. This way we could compare how differently
males and females think.

This sunday we all went out and we didnt engage in any
conversation. I was in line letting him know they were
putting freshly baked danishes out and he ignored me. While
we were all talking he announced that we all have to get our
own drive back home from the party. What a complete jerk. He
use to be so responsible and caring!

Does he think we take advantage of him? I hope he doesn't.
I've told him a few times that I'm greatful to be his
friend! what the fuck...

So, I'm going to try and get my dad or bro to bring me there
and pick me up. I'm not going with him. Fuck it. If he keeps
it up, looks like I'll have to plan my summer alone. Thank you.

I told my mother yesterday that I didn't really like my
friends anymore. They just aren't at my level. I'm going to
sound snoby, but just let me explain myself before you
judge. I'm going on to my 3rd year of university. I grew up
with university educated and well mannered parents. The
older and more educated I become, the less I have in common
with them. We can't have serious discussions because there's
only so much they know and are so close minded. They behave
like high school kids. I want a mature group of friends who
like to go to read, have manners, educated, understanding
and open minded. But, like I told my mother, we've stayed
friends for this long because they are good hearted people
and that's all that matters. Ya, they might not be in
university or burp at the dinner table, but they are nice,
caring people and for that i love them. But how much longer
can I do this?

I was dealing with a guy who told me something and after he
met my friends, he judged me. I was upset, but now I'm
understanding what he meant... and i agree. I still have my
whole life to meet new people, I should just embrace the
present :)

I hope this thing between me and my friend fades out. This
is really stupid and childish. If it doesn't work out, then
that's fine with me. A better reason to move on...





Ad: