Ben

Stuff
2008-03-26 01:59:22 (UTC)

poem/occurance

Happiness eludes those who do not seek it,
Those who cry out for a savior,
Often are left with emptiness and hatred,
The bitterness of ones who's alone,
Surrounding by those who choose wrong,
Corrupting any innocence left in your ego,
You hate yourself and all you've done,
You hate this town, everyone,
You hate all the drugs, all the suffering,
You are afraid for help,
Too afraid to admit your wrongdoings,
Too afraid to admit that all along,
You were always wrong,

Oh noo, here I go, down again,
In this hole of misery,
Taking me whole I begin to weep,
Tears run down my cheeks,
Will there every be deliverance?
________________
Timmy.. Holy shit I saw Timmy at a party a few days ago.
He was my best friend, my best fucking friend growing up...
Till my mom said I was to good for him.. I think I wrote
about him in another entry, but I have over 100 so meh.. im
not digging.

Whats funny is that I remember everything that I typed,
every entry is like a memory from another day... 100 plus
days, thats awesome.

I finally found someone I care about... Someone I really
love, Rosa... She's fucking awesome, we do everything
together and even though im content... im still unhappy. I
dont know why, its a feeling that I have... I'm pretty sure
I am depressed, and have been clinically so, for about five
plus years now. But oh well, i'll deal with it and if I
can't, then I have no one on my back trying to stop me from
suicide.


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