Middle Child

I know why I'm down.

I'm down because things haven't been going my way.

The lady for the rehab never called me back after the time i
spent doing the requirements. I was hoping to get it because
it guaranteed me a job right after. Now that it's not
happening i feel like crap. I have to look for another job
and I'm not allowing myself to work in retail anymore and I
don't know if i want to take any courses this summer. Which
I really don't want to. I need to relax. I'm so sick of
school right now. I can't even open my school bag.

oi. i just want to sleep forever.

I miss that stupid head! lol Only 30 days until he gets back
from vacation. I spoke to my friend today, she's
encouraging me to just go for it. But i'm still undecided. I
don't know why. well, i actually do know why.. for many
reasons.
-He's younger (1 1/2 yrs)
-i don't want to date, he lives kinda far
-i dont want my ex's friends snitching (which shouldnt
really bother me..sooo, i'm taking this off the list)
- I'm going to sound like a teenager... but my parents wont
be pretty happy about it. They saw how distracting my last
bf was and told me to just focus with school. I know. I agreed.

But him and I both agreed to have a serious conversation
about this. Because I dont want to date because we like
eachother a lot. I want to date when the timing is right.
Also, I want to make sure we're dating for the same reasons.

but that's alllll!!!! there's nothing else that bothers me
ABOUT him.

I need to stop being a kid about this. But then again, this
is a diary. so Ha!

Anyways, I have breakfast with my friend tomorrow morning, i
should probably get to sleep or else I won't wake up. ek!

good night.