Middle Child

Feb. 17. 08

Feb. 17. 08

You know how sometimes you need to let the child just
experience pain, even though you don’t want to ever see them
hurt? But by doing so, you’re teaching them to make
decisions on their own and cope with what they decided.
For example, if you see your child near a stove, your
initial reaction would be to shout out and say “don’t touch
it!” This will cause the child to either A) get scared or
B) still do it. My philosophy is, tell them not to do it
and give them a reason “you are going to burn yourself and
it’s going to hurt for several days if you touch the stove”.
Like this the child will learn to make decisions based on
reason.
The reason why I brought this up is because I’ve decided to
teach myself to toughen up when it comes to being
heartbroken or rejected.
Why?
Because I get heartbroken too quickly, I over think
everything and I get depressed for days thinking how no one
is every going to like me, there’s no hope… blah blah blahhh.
So, I’ve put my foot down.
I went online and joined a site where people from my city
could meet and I’ve met a few guys. I spoke to a whole
bunch all at once, lol, but you know what; when you do that
you don’t notice if the other is losing interest because
you’ve got someone else on the side who’s keeping you
entertained!
Ha ha ha so is this what guys do? Hmmm… LOL
Anyways!
I was rejected and conversations died quickly. But who
cares! There’s nothing wrong with interacting with
different people (more specifically males) because you learn
how to converse with them based on their body language or
how they respond in the conversation.

I don’t want to teach myself to become cold hearted. Never.
I just want to learn to be careful with how attached I get
with someone, what kind of information to reveal about
myself, how not to act, what not to do and anything in that
nature.

I went clubbing last night for a friend’s birthday and I
danced with a guy. I’m proud of myself for not getting so
involved with him; we just danced and had a good time and it
stopped there. However, I’m not happy with myself for
feeling the need to get picked up. I don’t want to have that
feeling of being wanted. I know everyone must feel like
that, but I don’t. I don’t want to date someone, I don’t
want a friend with benefits and I don’t want to deal. I
don’t mind having a friend, LOL, but let’s be honest about
life; guys don’t want to be just friends.

So that’s my little secret or shall I say that’s my therapy! lol