blkdragon

grounded
2008-02-25 12:37:06 (UTC)

At peace

2/24--9:22AM--I'm having a hard time regulating my
temperature, I'd gone to bed wearing just underwear, before
waking I had to take them off; the thermostat was only set
at 60 and yet when I get out of bed there's a chill. I woke
wondering about the girl from last night, I think she
suffered an anxiety attack, there were probably too many
people and the possibility of being injured may have been
the cause of her problem; I hope things worked out for her.
I also thought about Charlotte, briefly, she probably got
angry when I didn't answer my phone and she (more than
likely) won't call today; that would be good for me because
I've pulled out my sketch pad and will begin Miko's house.
I just checked the candles to make sure the wax wasn't
running, I looked in on Pharaoh, he seems to have acclimated
well to the deadfall I constructed for him; it gives his
prey a place to hide and makes his hunt a bit more
difficult. The deadfall also serves as a place for Pharaoh
to bask, you can find him reclining there during the day.
I'm pleased with the construction of Miko's home, I found a
company that constructs Haiku houses and was able to imagine
the one she chose to have built. Now I'm heading for a soak,
it's 11am and I'd normally be cleaning my skates to head to
the arena, instead I'll head to the library for a book I'd
seen that I plan to read; I'm also reading Eric Van
Lustbader's "Veil of a Thousand Tears". I'm feeling at peace
this morning, hopefully, Charlotte won't interrupt it; I
should be so lucky.
I realized that I was fine without her for the 5 months we
didn't talk, I could be comfortable without relating to her
on a regular basis. I never got to my work out yesterday,
I'll handle that (hopefully) this morning and prepare
pancakes, dress and head to the library; the sun is shining
beautifully and I think I'll walk.
Just got out of a tub full of mandarin orange scented
bubbles, the water was excruciatingly hot when I entered, I
wrung out the cloth and placed it over my face; listening to
the bubbles expire on my skin. When I removed the cloth and
saw the sea of bubbles I reclined in, I smiled and started
chuckling to myself, the water was feeling silky and the
scent is still with me; the shripping sound of the bubbles
parting intrigued me. I thought I'd lay there until the
water cooled, my internal temperature was continually rising
to match the temperature of the water, I didn't want to have
to seek a cool place when I got out of the water; but the
serenity and joy I was feeling kept me right where I was. I
couldn't stop smiling, this was feeling way too good, not a
macho thing to do and I really couldn't have cared less; I
don't consider myself a macho man, just a man!
I was being overwhelmed by the heat and an empty stomach, I
rose through the crispness of the bubbles, I needed to
immerse my quads in this heat and allow them to be
mollified; I now needed to leave this womb of crisp
silkiness. When I stood to rinse the bubbles from me, I
immediately felt the heat my body was trying to accommodate,
there'd be no brisk walk away from here; I sat on the edge
of the tub and dried myself and I was too hot to finish
(even) that. I headed for the front door, the overhead fan
was on and I'd lay on the floor under it, I made a mental
note not to fall asleep; I have a lot to do today.
After a few minutes, I got up and put my sweats on, I had a
pot of water on the stove for the dishes; I poured half into
each sink and began preparing my batter. I washed the dishes
as I made 2 pancakes, I then fried a couple of eggs and
topped the pancakes with them, I made myself another cup of
coffee and went to the dining room table with my food; I'd
left "Veil of a Thousand Tears" there and would read while
eating.
Now that I'm imbued with lethargy, listening to Celine
singing "the color of my love", I'm off to finish cleaning
and dressing; then I'm outta here! Can't ignore Charlotte,
I'll have to call her at some point.
2/24--7:08PM--I went to the library, decided to call
Charlotte before I left, told her what happened last night
and where I was heading; never found out why she called and
the conversation we were having was nothing less than
static. Charlotte would tell me that her Brother was on the
other line and that she would call me back, I won't be
holding my breath for that one, I hadn't heard from her
since last Tuesday; I don't have to talk to her on a regular
basis.
Pretty called in distress, she told me that she'd spoken to
Daniel and he told her that it wasn't good for him to keep
seeing her, she said that she'd poured out her heart to him
and he turned things around on her by telling her that
perhaps they could come together in a couple of months. She
told me how much it was hurting her that he couldn't hear
and understand what she was saying, I told her that she was
too far ahead of him, that by the time he caught up to her
she'd be on another plane of existence; this didn't help
her. I'd been watching the clock, I'd planned to get to the
county in time to see Von today, I'd planned to be there for
the full hour; I'm the distraction that he needs to do the
time he's required to serve.
I headed to the facility, four blocks in 7 minutes, I
rounded the corner of the third block and thought if I kept
walking I'd miss my chance for the full hour; I began
running, up a 45 degree incline for another block. By the
time I got to the guards window I was huffing and trying to
get my breathing under control, everyone else in the waiting
area was relaxed and composed. I wondered if I looked a bit
strange because I was breathing irregularly, I really didn't
care; I was just wondering.
Not 2 minutes later they were admitting everyone into the
facility, I'd just made the window of opportunity. Von's now
worried that he'll come out and still be on probation, the
reason he turned himself in was to keep from having to be on
paper after his release, I told him not to be concerned with
such things; there should be a record of the judicial
decision on file.
He told me that he'd had discussions with someone about my
dealings with Ekaterina, he said it was highly amusing, I'm
glad the diversion was enough to sustain him for a while, he
wants me to bring him reading material; I'll take care of
that! We talked about Charlotte, my decision, his not
believing me; it's not a requirement. He wanted me to call
Colleen and bring the equipment to the house, I told him
that it could wait for his release and we'd erect it
together, there was no possibility for his dissension; he
has no other choice but to wait for me.
I told him about the corrections officer's application, he
reminded me that anyone with a record of a felony couldn't
land that position, he also told me that anyone with a
felony conviction couldn't leave the country; that wasn't
something I'd been aware of. My Brother did federal time and
traveled around the world, Egypt/Middle East/Singapore and
Italy, guess the rules have changed since then, not that
much of a deal; it is what it is.
On my way out of the facility, I passed the Mission
cafeteria, I thought about the difference between myself and
the people that need to be there; I didn't find enough to
qualify me as being different than they. What truly
separates one from another, time/ economics/geography/events
and lineage; do these things make us different, not by a
long shot. There but for the Grace of God/the Goddess, go I.




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