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I'm Actually Going to Quit
rather than working on my business entities homework, i've
decided to record a momentous occasion that is about to
occur. i am giong to quit my job.
i have been gainfully employed in many different professions
(i.e. law firms to pizza parlors) and, not only have i
managed a track record of professionalism and proficiency,
but also to leave each job with the goodwill of those with
whom i was formerly associated with in a joint business venture.
well all of that shitting butterflies and pissing rainbows
is about to end tomorrow.
you see. i did something really stupid a month and a half
ago. i took a job just to have a job. i took the job just
so that i would have a job for the summer specifically.
never mind that he told me that i probably couldn't work
more than parttime anyhow, i jumped on it.
the whole time after i had taken it i kept on talking myself
into the position more and more as i kept on saying, "well,
i can still look for other summer positions, for the time
being i have something."
this was just stupid. and in retrospect, this has been one
of the biggest mistakes i've ever made. not only did i take
a job in an area of law that i not only do not find
interesting but one that i also am repulsed by. my dislike
for personal injury law is only part of the issue.
the other is the lawyer that i'm working for.
for the past two weeks i hadn't heard anything from him.
then today he called me up and asked if i'd be coming in to
do some work. a couple of weeks back i had been opening his
office for him every other day (that i was scheduled to
work) and, essentially, dealing with his irate clients who,
apparently, were in the same position i was in.
his emergence from his state of incommunicado was somewhat
annoying and i can't explain why.
i think part of it is that it's very hard to care about
someone else's work when they care so little about it
themselves. think about it, if your boss basically just
said, "fuck it" to everything, why would you have any more
reason to care about it?
well for a while i really did care about the work, but after
a while it just got frustrating. all of my projects ground
to a halt when they got to a point where they needed his
in short. he's the worst boss i've ever had. he personally
is a very nice person (which makes quitting on him that much
harder), but the way he runs his office is just frustrating
to say the least.
considering that i'm getting less than 5 hours of work a
week during the "busy months" i can only imagine what teh
"slow months" of summer will be like.
but look at me. i'm just justifying my wanting to quit.
very simply put, i made a mistake. i acknowledge that. i'm
at a point (thankfully) where i don't need to take a job
just to have a job just yet. when i have kids and a whole
family to support this will all be very different (although
in this situation i'd still quit for lack of hours).
now the real problem is extricating myself from my own
mistake. make that...extricating myself without entering
into a world of pain.
i'm expecting to get yelled at tomorrow. what i'm doing
isn't exactly high-ranking in the "loyalty" department.
although i'm not going to lie and tell you that it's not
going to bother me and that i'm not dreading getting yelled
at (because, seriously, who would enjoy that)...that's not
really my main concern.
my main concern is what he might do to me through my school.
i could see him trumpeting this up and categorizing my
whole law school as a bunch of back-stabbing, quitting
within a month into the job, motherfuckers. i don't want
that. mostly because i want other students to have a shot
at this job (as horrible as it is, maybe its for someone
else) and secondly, i just don't want to have to deal with
the career services getting on my case.
so my baby had a brilliant idea last night. why don't i
just go and explain my situation to the career services.
you see that's why i married her, for smart shit like that.
unfortunately, these smart suggestions are blocked by the
idiocy and ineptitude of my career services office.
as i went into the office to speak to our career services
lady (and from prior entries you can tell that she's the
worst of the worst when it comes to being helpful) i was met
with a starkly empty setting. other than one receptionist
the entire career services was gone.
"hi, i'm i'd like to speak with joan...it's kinda urgent."
"oooo," the receptionist cooed while tilting her head to
side, "did you want to say goodbye?"
"today's her last day the entire office is out celebrating
it," and with that she leaned forward and with a wink said,
i stood there transfixed.
"i have a very important issue to talk to someone asap about."
"well....there's really noone here, can it wait till tomorrow?"
and as i was heaving a sigh she kindly added,
"oh wait, actually, it might have to wait a week or two, her
replacement doesn't start until march."
seriously. so what do i do now? i just can't continue on
working for this guy. i want out. i've never wanted out of
anything so badly in my life. i don't want to have to talk
to another sobbing litigant or a livid claims adjuster. i
fucked up, but can it really be this hard to get out of it?
well i don't know what to do. on the one hand i have the
problem of the wrath of the lawyer and on the other i have
my desire to quit.
oh yeah. and one more thing which is just too good to be
true. i haven't gotten paid yet. that's right. i've
worked a month and a half and he hasn't even had me fill
out the withholding forms.
so i don't know what to do. if i quit tomorrow i have the
awkward scenario of somehow still getting my pay from him.
i guess i can put two weeks in.
i don't know what a shitfest i've gotten myself into.