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Nick's Journal
2008-02-14 20:31:30 (UTC)

Merry Fucking Valentine's Day

valentine's day is my favorite holiday (next to
thanksgiving). why? because, ironically enough it is the
time when people show the most hate.
what hate am i talking about?
oh just that hate that one girl feels for another that is
towing along a huge white teddy bear, a dozen roses, and a
balloon which says, "You're the One for Me, Valentine!"

during my evidence class i was privy to the following
discussion,
"did you see katie?"
"yeah, makes me sick."
"who needs that much shit."
"she does, she's high-maintenance."
"i don't get what the big fucking deal is."
"it's not gonna last anyhow."
can you feel the love?

i sure as fuck couldn't when i was grubbin' on some free
cookies today. you see our law school is nice enough to
once in a while put out some free food. however, i am very
weary of any free food as it usually comes with strings
attached such as, "join phi gamma delta!", "would you care
to help the homeless" or, "i'm pregnant."
that's cos people know that the best way to get someone
interested is through fresh baked goods. well there i was
stuffing my face with chocolate chip cookies when i saw a
few tupperware containers filled with brownies.
i love brownies...even more than chocolate chip cookies.
thinking that they were probably just in the container to
seal in the freshness i popped one open, made sure to use
the silver tongs, and pulled out a little clump of gooey
goodness.
as i was midway through my third bite i heard a voice say,
"i see you like our brownies," in a tone which seemed to
indicate that she wasn't too thrilled with what she was seeing.
"mmmm" i managed.
"well considering you are such a fan of brownies, can i
interest you in making a donation to the asian law society?"
my eyes glanced past the petition towards the tupperware
container which was currently being emptied out and arranged
into neat little assortments on the asian law society's table.
whoops.
i smiled,
"i thought these were a part of the free cookies."
"they're not."
"they're next to them."
"they were in tupperware containers."
"i'm sorry."
"it seems that you like baked goods."
"yes, but i don't like paying for them."
our conversation ended there, she staring at me venomously
jutting the petition in my face and me wishing i had some milk.

speaking of the love, let me vent about this fucking bitch
of a lawyer i applied to a while back. she's an immigration
lawyer and i applied last fall semester. let's see all the
things i did for her. hm, i set up her work-study program,
i put her into contact with our immigration society, oh
yeah, and i helped her out on those modern rules of
professional conduct "problems" she was having.
she strung me along for a while and then never called me
back. just nothing. oh well, happens all the time. but
then today, i received an e-mail from my immigration law
society (the one that i put her in contact with) saying that
there was a "great opportunity" for the same position i had
applied for, oh and that she only accepts work-study
eligible candidates (the program that i set up for her).
i don't know why but i'm so pissed off. i feel so used. is
this what insecure girls feel like when they sleep with some
guy who never calls them back?
ugh, it's horrible.
i am resisting every urge to reapply sarcastically. argh!
take the higher road nick.

and finally, to show that valentine's day is all about the
love, i would like to present you with my federal income tax
teacher. now i know that i complain that teachers normally
let retarded questions slide way too much, but after this
lady, i've decided that's probably the better course.
she's this spindly asian woman, who i swear to god is
insane. on the first say of class she said, "man i gotsa
big head, you know all asians have big heads, like look at
my friend here." and with this she pointed to a fellow
sleepy-head.
anyhow, she's a tad bit abrasive but today she took it to
the next level.
this guy decided to ask a question which had been answered
about 20 times that class period.
the teacher stopped cold and said the following,
"gee, i'd love to explain that to you," she started off
sarcastically, "but you see, i've already explained that
eight times today and it doesn't seem like it's had any effect."
with that verbal ass-raping she turned around, then quickly
whirled back and with a deveious smirk on her face she asked,
"let me guess...not in the top 20 percent?" (referring to
his class rank) the whole class held its collective breath,
the guy was beet red and just sitting there,
"i didn't think so."
"top 50 percent?"
"just joking, hahahahaha!"
oucharillos.

and finally just to show that valentine's day is somewhat
about the love i'd like to present doofie. doofie is in my
federal income tax. i call him doofie because he looks like
those morons in the 1940s & 50s cartoons. the exaggerated
facial features, goofy ass eyes and buck teeth.
well, doofie, kiare, kristen and i were all in a group doing
this problem. i was sitting across from kiare, next to
doofie who was across from kristen. i couldn't take my eyes
off of doofie. not only was his skin a weird orangey color
but his skin seemed to literally be peeling off of him.
plus he looked like he had been drinking, his lids were all
droopey and shit.
as i somewhat zoned back into the problem i notice that
doofie was in fact also doing some staring...only at
kristen. now kristen is one of the two hot girls that the
troll clings to (see a previous entry for that whole thing),
and doofie, apparently really appreciated her being set
right in front of him.
now doofie has to be at least in his mid to late 40s and he
was seriously creeping. throwing in sexual innuendo that
didn't even make any sense. saying how he would treat a
girl right on valentine's day. i mean just some seriously
creepy ass shit (and also bolstering my firm belief that he
had been drinking). kristen was shifting uncomfortably in
her seat and kiare was staring wide-eyed and making those
uncomfortable little chuckles after each of his jokes which
finally got him to fixate on her.
i just sat there staring at him in disbelief, was his skin
seriously peeling in front of me? god he was disgusting.
so we're sitting there trying to do the income tax problem
(or at last 3 of us were) while doofie was trying his best
to not remain lonely on valentine's day.
after a while it just got annoying as shit. he wouldn't
stop staring at the two of them so i started asking
questions just to get his mind off of whatever the fuck
god-awful thoughts were running through his mind.
doofie of course didn't appreciate this and became somewhat
agitated making fun of me for "not knowing the answer"
thinking that he was jerry seinfeld at madison square garden
or something which of course just solidified my feeling that
he was drunk.
the groups finally split up and after class kiare and
kristen confirmed what i thought (i wasn't sure if i was the
only one noticing this whole thing).
"that dude is seriously creepy."
"yeah, he's kind of followed me one time to my car, he's
just sketchy."
"does he even go here?"
"i don't know, i guess...was he drunk?"
"i don't know, he acted like it."
man i hate people.


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