taking heed

slightly exaggerated
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PropellerAds
2008-02-12 06:39:03 (UTC)

Hello old friend. New old news.

I feel as though I should take advantage of this rarified
oppertunity of feeling fairly confident in my finger
strength and subsequently, typing ability.

My-Diary.org - hello! How are things on your front? You
haven't changed one bit since we first met. I like that.
I wish I could say the same about me sometimes, but I
guess 'change' is the handle with the Brose man.

I've been taken by the ebb and flow pretty hard as of
late; High highs, low lows, fleeting middles.

Besides a really great trade pulled off by the marvelous
Bryan Murray, today was in the shitter from the get go. I
felt like shit as I peeled away the cover from the bed and
stepped into consciousness at 12:22pm - being ill had much
to do with it. I decided the day before that I would test
drive this roast beef and vegtable recipe I got from the
Food Network and so I spent most of the afternoon
preparing that. Veronica assisted upon her arrival from
work shortly after 2:00. It's not like it was complicated
dish by any strech (especially in contrast with my
expanding cullinary prowess in recent months (necessity
does crazy things)), however, in hindsight, it was a bit
more of an undertaking than I really wanted to contend
with. As soon as I popped that half-frozen roast into the
microwave for some induced defrosting, my heart was no
longer into the meal.

Coachworx called. Twice. But I declined to talk to them
once and refused to pick up the telephone the other time.
I hate telephones. I heard about it afterwards. I was in
no mood to deal with the high-pressure tactics of my
employment seeking enthusiasts. The fact of the matter is
that I have been avoiding them and the prospect of working
altogether. There are two reasons for this: 1 - I'm still
aclimatizing to my surroundings and managing life in a new
city and having to do many more things for myself than I
used to (sans wage-labor). 2 - Malaise, depresh., disdain -
call it what you will - a general poor mental outlook on
the prospect of working mixed with terse confidence issues.

My girlfriend really wants me to get a job. She wants me
to pull in a nice salary to expidiate the process of
moving into a house and I guess living happily ever after.
It sounds sort of nice on paper and yea, I do see where
she's coming from - working does produce monies which can
be exchanged for things like houses. Of this I am aware.
My life goals are slightly different and opperate on a
different timetable. I too, eventually, want to share a
place (house not specified) with my lovely lady and carve
out a nice peice of existence, BUT I also want to live for
now and not rush through blind-folded. It's been but three
months in this rad little pad on Ouellette and some days
I'm persuaded into thinking we're behind schedual.

The uniqueness of my situation affords me an income; a
menial, but tangible, income that can be saved and
accumulated through less than clever means. And I probably
spend an over-extended amount of time stroking my nob on
facebook and playing flash internet games, but I also do a
hardy share of the maintainance around this dwelling.

Most importantly is this - for the most part, I am greatly
enjoying this new life, this novel undertaking, this
independence, flashing creativity without fret, and above
all else, sharing it all with my best friend and lover on
a daily basis IN PERSON. I reiterate, this is what is most
important to me. And I believe the rest will fall into
place in due time.

I'll be less irritable when I shake this cold.


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