I drink Alone
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2008-02-06 18:02:15 (UTC)


Things have been busy but I still feel bored. Maybe I'm
just ready for a change in the routine. Not that expecting
a baby in less then two months wont be a huge freakin'

I've been hearing alot from old friends lately and maybe
that's what I've been missing. Concentrating so much on
being with Joe and taking care of Hayden I haven't realized
I've been missing out on having a good time with friends. I
mean, I've been hanging with Crystal and that's great. It's
so nice to finally have a friend who understands me and is
so fuckin' cool. But it's not the same as going out like
old times. Maybe I'm suppose to be "growing up" right about
now, but I'm not ready here.
I feel so stupid cause I'm bitching half the time at Joe
for not growing up, for drinking all the time and being
silly. When who knows what I'll be wanting to do when the
kiddos are at the grandparents for the weekend or something.

At my doctor's appointment Monday he told me after my 35th
week (which is the next time I go in) they won't try and
stop if the baby comes.
Something about the contractions I've been having and
checking my dilation and he said we might have to take the
baby early. I sure as hell hope not. He told me himself I
don't look as pregnant as I am so maybe the baby isn't
ready to come out of there.
Mom thinks my depression is caused by sugar intake, so to
make her happy I've been cutting it majorly. I really don't
think that's the problem, she's just a lil crazy about
things sometimes. But what the hell, sugar can't be all
that great for babys anyways. We've been cutting Hayden's
sugar off at seven and he's been going to sleep a lot
easier than usual. Maybe one day I'll get this parenting
thing down.

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