~L

My Screwed Up Relationships
2008-01-23 05:16:23 (UTC)

My Head Aches

My head aches and my body is damn tired. A day off spent
doing nothing more productive then cleaning and cleaning
and cleaning some more.. my obsessiveness being taken out
on an already clean house. I spent a fair amount of time
doing laundry.. and yet.. some still sits in the washer
and dryer.. Im simply to lazy to fold and switch over.

I get to spend some quiet time alone before work tomorrow
and Im thinking of ways to spend it not alone. I miss R..
I miss him so badly. It leaves me feeling empty and when I
get that feeling te only thing I want to do is fix it. I
want someone to hold me and touch me and be near me.

I love being alone and yet hate it all at the same time.

Im starving and Im wondering if that doesnt have something
to do with the headache or if its the stupid amount of
cig's I've smoked today.. a habit that I really need to
quit.

My bra doesnt fit right and its falling off my shoulders
and I want to do nothing more right now than to get off
and get some sleep. Why Im still sitting here I'll never
know. Wait I do know.. Im waiting for word of some kind.
For whatever reason tonight has left me feeling altogether
lonely.. and I hate that.

I dunno it just like it feels everything is falling away
from me. For some reason I thought life got easier the
older I got.. who in the hell knew the opposite would be
true.

~L




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