I drink Alone
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2008-01-14 18:22:21 (UTC)

30 weeks pregnant

I went to the Doctor this morning. Joe couldn't get off
work but he didn't miss much. They did the usual blood
pressure jazz and the doctor listened to the heartbeat.
The nurse told me in another couple weeks I need to
register at the hospital.
I was going to ask him about something I could do about my
depression or mood swings but I didn't. I figure I only
have a couple months left to deal with this.

Hayden's b-day party went very well. Everyone we invited
showed up. We didn't have any other kids there, but most
of the family came.
Michael and Crystal bought him a plastic drum filled with
other musical instruments. He loves beating on that damn
thing. I'll have to remember to thank them properly later.
Julie gave him a couple tractors he loves.
I'm glad it's over with though, I get so stessed out
cleaning and getting things ready.

Joe stayed drunk pretty much all weekend but that's okay
cause he didn't really act up. He mostly stayed in his
garage and worked on designs for his house of id site.
i asked Crystal if she was going to their gig on Feb 1st
and she said she wasn't going either. She invited me to
hang out with her if I wanted and I probably will.
Otherwise I'll just be sitting at home thinking about Joe
getting wasted at some club and doing who knows what.
It's no big secret by now, I don't trust him.
I know he loves me, but I don't trust what he'll do if
he's been drinking and all hyped up cause he's performing
and shit.
I guess I should of known what I was getting into, but
that doesn't make it any easier.
Whatever though. I need to learn that if he's going to
cheat on me he's going to cheat on me and I'll survive.
Frank taught me that.
We were talking about Michael and Crystal and how Mike was
growing out a beard and Joe's like, "I don't think Michael
cares what people think since he's married now and fixing
to have a baby he doesn't have anything to lose"
I wonder if he realizes he's in the same boat. I mean,
maybe he's just bored.
Sometimes I think he was into getting married cause
Michael did. And now that Crystal and I are having babys
at the same time it's just dandy. But what happens when he
gets bored with that idea?

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