Middle Child

mon. jan 07, 08

I started my first class this semester and it was pretty
chill. My prof. is a funny, blunt, and intelligent guy. I'm
really looking forward to this semester! yay!

So, before christmas i was looking through a site from a
rehabilitation center and saw that they were looking for
volunteers. Well, seeing as how i'm not in any serious need
to have a job right now, i could use this opportunity to do
volunteer work on the side. I emailed the lady in charge and
after 2 weeks of waiting for a response, she finally
responded. They are looking for people for a certain time
during the day. It fits my schedule. Now, i'm scared.

I think I'm just scared that once I start getting more
involved in my field that i'm going to...going to what? i
dont even know. i'm just scared to move on with my life.
Maybe I'm scared that i have to be serious? that i have to
focus 120% and that may involve not hanging out with
friends? that's pretty immature of me. Or maybe i'm scared
to fail?

I thought about it and i've decided that if i go on with
this volunteer work, it might motivate or just completely
kill my dream of being a psychologist. My intentions of
moving on with this idea is to gain experience. There's only
sooo much you can learn from a textbook. And I'm the type of
person who relies heavily on experience. Also, I want to
meet people who were probably in my position when they were
trying to figure out what to do with their life. Lastly, if
everything goes well, I might even get a job there or even
better, meet professionals that can help me find a better
job, guide me. That's what I truly truly truly, from the
bottom of my heart want! I want positive people to guide
me. It's what I crave for.

I need to discuss this with my dad tonight, i'm going to
start reading. Night.