I drink Alone
2008-01-03 19:08:31 (UTC)

New Year

As far as I know the pregnancy is going well. Jordan is so
active it's crazy sometimes.
We had dinner at his Aunts a couple days ago, and their
talking about planning the baby shower. I hate those
things! All that attention is just not me.

Things have been good with Joe. I'm so fucking moody
nowdays that I feel sorry for him, I wouldn't be surprised
if he took to sleeping in his garage. He already installed
a lock on the inside of it, his "masturbation" lock so he
At first I had a problem with it, I got my feelings hurt
since I am almost 7 months pregnant and thought he was sick
of me, or thought I was fat. But I'm getting more and more
used to it I guess you could say. Considering since I did
speak up and say how much it hurt my feelings he started
coming to me every time he felt like sex and I'm afraid to
say I can't keep up anymore!
But I have been going through some depression that's been
really bringing me down. But having Hayden here keeps me
pretty well grounded.
He'll be two on the 12th and I'm starting to plan his bday
party. It's too bad Joe's sister Toni can't be here cause
he adores her. More than my own sisters I'm afraid to say.
Being married to Joe, well just being with Joe has taught
me a lot. I'm learning so much about how patient love is
suppose to be, and just how to stick things out for once
when the going gets rough. I've always bailed or done
something stupid before to get out of feeling hurt or like
I'm in too far. But with Joe I couldn't picture living
without him ever. I wouldn't say I'm secure because
especially now that I've gained weight I get super touchy
anytime his ex gfs come up, or anything like that. But I
know that I'd go through and have gone through alot more
shit than I would of normally put up with for him.
He is a wonderful father to Hayden and Hayden loves him
alot already. So I have no doubt he'll be great with
Jordan. Probably better since it's his little girl.

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