2007-12-15 03:02:21 (UTC)

what i would say.

Tiffany: to you i am more sorry than anything. i'm sorry i
was a burden, though i know you'd do it again in a second.
i'm sorry i ever hurt you or made you feel bad. i love you
so much, and i know you love me, though we have very
different ways of showing it. i know you don't think it's
true, but i would have done anything for you.

Chelsea: i always wanted to protect you, in the end you
helped me out more than i helped you. i'm sorry i couldn't
be the big sister i wanted to be. i've fought with you like
no one else but i wouldn't trade that for anything. i love you.

Mallory: for most of our lives i felt more like a mom to you
than a sister. i'm so proud of you, you're such an
incredible girl, don't ever let anyone tell you you're not
good enough. you're amazing and you can do anything. i love
you and i know you'll be great at whatever you choose to do.

Mom: you never made me feel like i was good enough. you made
me feel like a failure because you felt like you failed with
me. i guess you were right.

Dad: when i was little you were my idol. i wanted to be just
like you, even though you terrified me. in recent years i
felt sad when i saw you because i felt like i let you down.
i've come to realize that i didn't, and that i love you more
than i ever knew, and that you always loved me no matter
what, and though i didn't see you very often i never felt
like our relationship lacked for anything. i'm sorry that
when you and mom first split, i never went to see you. it
was only because i felt so horrible that we'd abandoned you.

Billy: i know you'll call me a coward. you're probably
right. i know it's hard but don't ever doubt that i loved
you. you'll never know how much i did. i'm sorry if i didn't
show it the way you needed me to.

Jay: you've been there for me through more bullshit and
drama than anyone else. thank you for always listening no
matter how sick you were of hearing about the same things
over and over. i'm sorry if you ever felt like i wasn't
there for you. you're my brother and i love you.

Alyssa: i know we would have had many more years of good
times, and for that i'm sorry. you're one of the most
incredible people i've ever met, don't ever let a guy make
you think differently. don't settle for less than you
deserve. i love you and i feel honored to have had you in my

Brien: what can i say to you. stop being jealous of darren.
you have it better than you'll ever realize. you're one of
the most driven and dedicated people i've ever met. don't
change anything about yourself, you're perfect the way you
are. i love you.

NiQ: you're a self-centered bastard but i love you to death.
i've never laughed as hard as i did with you, and you were
there for me through a lot. toughen up a little, people
suck, you have to stop taking it personally. you're an
amazing artist and i know one day you'll be great.

Elana: i don't know what happened to us. it wasn't your
fault, it wasn't my fault, it's just how things happen.
you've probably had the biggest impact on my life out of
everyone. i am who i am today largely because of you. thank
you for being there for me when i felt completely alone in
the world. thank you for being my best friend. i'm sorry
things ended up the way they did. don't ever doubt that you
were important to me. i only wanted you to be okay. you're a
wonderful mother and you're one of the smartest people i've
ever met. i love you.

Rhiana: i didn't know you for very long but i love you and
it felt like i'd known you forever. i'm sorry we didn't get
to hang out more. thank you for making me jump out of a
plane, i probably never would have done it if you hadn't
made it possible. stop doubting everyone, if someone wants
to love you just let them. try to have a little more faith.