Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
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2007-12-12 06:43:41 (UTC)

I'm ok now.

I went a little mad last entry. I'm feeling better now. I
figure, if he needs to say shit to make himself look bigger,
so be it. I'll let God take care of the rest. I'm not going
to get involved in anything, say anything, or think too much
about it. I did nothing wrong. I don't deserve what he did
to me. I'll forgive him someday, I'm still healing.

I think in a way he was scared. Scared that his
parents/family really liked me. Scared that our friends got
along so well. Scared that we understood each other. Scared
that I wasn't an annoying, clingy, always bitching
girlfriend. I was caring, understanding, patient, loving,
funny, goofy. It couldn't be me. I didn't do anything wrong
but let him still live his life without controlling his
every move! that's not my style!

Whatever, I can't think about this anymore. He probably
doesn't even think of me.

I've started reading a book on teenage depression among
girls. It's suppose to be a good book for clinical
psychologists, so I'm going to read it once work gives me
some time to breath. Fuckin' hate that job. If the owner
wasn't so nice, I would have left months ago. Now I need to
find something, but this job let's me work once a week. Oh
decisions, decisions.

it's almost 2am, i have working at 12. Nite.