Final Exam Pep Talk
i'm so completely done studying already that i can't even
focus on the written word. of course i haven't even taken
my first exam yet. i've been studying real estate law for
the past two days and the though that i still have an admin,
bankruptcy, and profesisonal responsbility exam left is too
much for me to bear.
so i did what all good, hard-working people do when faced
with what seems to be an insurmountable task, i crumbled for
the challenge and promptly escaped through procrastination,
in the present instance taking the form of a friday night
save it. i love friday night lights. sure it's corny, but
it's entertaining. aside from the fact that it's corny
there are two other letdowns to watching it in the law
library. one of course is the potential of me breaking down
like a woman suffering from post-partum depression during
any one episode. the second of course is the curious
attribute this show has of closely straddling the boundary
of "soft core porn". inevitably i'll look up from a scene
which happens to be set in a strip club and find some girl
staring at it disapprovingly. or even worse (and definitely
creepier) are the upclose shots of HIGH SCHOOL aged
cheerleaders...take that for what its worth.
anyhow, i am willing to take the stigma of being a complete
perv just for the motivational speeches in that show. like
lately one of the "trouble youths" didn't think that he
could compete in the upcoming big game.
the guy that he was with in the car (his surrogate father or
whatever) promptly pulled the car to the side of the road
and right as the troubled youth was about to get out of the
car he yelled, "close the damn door!"
and then he launched into one of the great motivational
speeches that friday nights is known for.
so it got me wishing that i had my own personal high school
coach giving me motivational speeches along the way, it
would be so awesome.
i'd imagine it going something like this.
me: "I don't think I can study one more aspect of a
non-recourse loan partial carveout for commercial lenders."
Coach: "Really? well let me tell you this...let me tell
you this son. You can stop studying non-recourse
loans...you can say, 'i don't care about partial carveouts',
but let me tell you this. i know you got it in you to know
every single one of the 7 partial carveout exceptions to
seller financed commercial loans."
Me: "Man, I don't think I can do it...I mean the other guys
in my class, they just ask all these great questions that I
don't even think of!"
Coach: "Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something son, you
know that guy Jason? The one who asks all of those
questions ? You don't think he does that cos he's empty
inside? You know you're better than he is!"
Me: (eyes tearing up, shaking with self-doubt) *sniff,
"I...I don't know...I just can't."
Coach: (as he grabs my 400 page real estate transactions
book from me and throws it across the library causing it to
hit that stupid bitch who keeps on eating rice cakes) "YEAH?
YOU THINK YOU CAN'T DO IT? WELL THEN FINE!! YOU GO AHEAD
AND STOP THEN. THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO? YOU CAN GO
TO A SECOND TIER COLLEGE AND THEN WORK IN PERSONAL INJURY.
YOU WANT TO WORK IN PERSONAL INJURY SON? DO YOU WANT TO BE
THE BOTTOM-FEEDING, BLOOD-SUCKING SON OF A BITCH BASTARD WHO
PROFITS OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE'S MISERY? NO? I DIDN'T THINK
SO!!! SO YOU GO GET THAT BOOK, YOU OPEN IT...AND YOU
STUDY!!! YOU HEAR ME? YOU STUDY!!!"
and of cousre i would study and pass the final and get
carried out of my exam room on the shoulders of my fellow