Middle Child

Can't sleep...

Its 4am and i cannot sleep. My back is fuckin aching, like
someone kicked my lower back and it's bruised. I need my
massaging friend, hahaha, nahhh. I'll just have to suck it
up. I've been postponing my readings. I have an exam on
wednesday and I havent started studying. I don't know why. I
have this "i dont fuckin' care, no matter how fuckin
confident I feel, it's still going to slap me on the face"
attitude. So, why bother trying when i know i'm going to
fail. right? seriously, i need 100% on my exam to get a B
average in the class. right now, im at 22%.....it's a big
fuckin' joke. Mind you, i still have 50% of the course.
20-assignment and 30-exam. whatever. I fuckin' hate when
my mind set is right now. I need a new pet or something?

I'm constantly thinking about my school and this fuckin
class. I keep thinking about my ex and whenever i do, i get
soooo mad! I get so upset at him and really upset at myself.
I'm mad at myself for putting soooo much thought into it.
My guy friends are right, i think about him so much, when he
probably doesn't even bother thinking of me. I HATE IT!!!!!!!

i need to pee. nite.