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I think I have Prosopagnosia
i've always had trouble forming an image of someone's face
in my mind. it's the damndest thing. i mean there are some
faces i can easily conjure (e.g. family, close friends) but
there are some, mostly people that i just happen upon in
passing most of the day that i can't seem to get a vivid
i usually get something which i can only describe as
"fuzziness". oddly enough i am best at remembering the face
of someone who smiles a lot. in fact, when i laboriously
try to reconstruct someone's face i ALWAYS start with a
so i got the snubbed hello yesterday at the bus stop. now
at law school you don't say hi to everyone all the god
damned time, that would just be tedious. but nigga, when
we're out on the street, you best show some acknowledgement!
we law students have got to stick together out there in that
wild world! and without fail, even if i have never talked
to someone at law school, but we recognize each other out on
the streets we exchange pleasantries, normally just a smile
and causal wave.
that's just how the fuck we do.
well up until now. apparently jason is too fucking good to
adhere to common courtesy. i gave him the nice smile and
casual wave and he looked at me and raised his eyebrows in
an exasperated, "i see you want to do you want, oh hi,
jesus, okay, hi" look. what the fuck?
all i gotta say is that he better watch his back at the
lockers...i think i'm watching too much OZ.
we law students are poor hungry folk. if you dropped us in
somalia with a crate of food for the hungry africans we'd
probably break into the crate and hoard it. normally if
there's a meeting somewhere that means food...free food. i
myself rooted through 25 empty pizza boxes lying on the
ground looking for free food (i have no pride).
so the simple axiom in law school is: "if there's food out,
it's there to eat."
well not quite. so i get into admin law and i notice two
large platters, one has chicken ceasar wraps the other has
some sort of salmon wrap. i was about to pick one up and go
to town when my frontal lobe stopped me,
"nick..." it said to me, "this food looks a little bit too
good to just be here for free, pass on it."
so i did. i thought that if it were pizza or some cheese
and ccrackers i would have stuffed half the plate down my
pants. well the gigantic man who sits next to me in admin
who grunts all the god damned time like a hog must do when
he's wallowing in his trough of food apparently doesn't have
a working frontal lobe.
he got to the two platters and his face turned nearly
orgasmic. he grabbed FOUR WRAPS!!! and started eating a
upon his initiative the rest of my class converged. at the
front was a small group of well-dressed men and women, which
had hitherto ignored our salivating at the back of the room.
as fatty mceats a lot started loading up, the elderly man
looked up and said,
"what on earth are you doing! those aren't for you!"
the elderly man bolted up to the back of the room and stared
at disbelief at the huge dude who sits next to me.
"those aren't for you!"
fat man responded in his defense,
"but the food was lying out, usually that means that it's free!"
"no it doesn't! this was for us! and jesus christ...FOUR?
you really need FOU...no FIVE, you're eating one!"
i was in pure ecstacy right now. i was trying so hard not
to laugh as the fat guy was standing there completely
awkward being exposed for the pig that he was.
"uh, i can put them back."
"yeah right...like we want to eat them mnow that your hands
have been all over them...you know what. just go and eat
them." and with that he waved his hands in dismissive disgust.
the fat guy stood there for a minute contemplating on
putting it back anyhow but noticing that all eyes were on
him now. he quickly slinked to his seat his face bright red.
to be fair, normally nobody would say shit if you took food,
but god damn, you just gotta think for a second. if it's
good food like that.
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