Dirty Fractyl
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2007-10-10 02:05:17 (UTC)

From a corner of the milky way, I scream

I never imagined I would reach this point in life: The
point where everything is remarkably clear, but bleak in the
clearness. I should have achieved a lot by age 26, but I
have failed to achieve anything. I'm embarrassed to be so
dependent on others, but the mere fact that I HAVE OTHERS to
be dependent upon is a good thing; it shows that people care
about me.

That was the last thing said to me as I fell apart in prison...

"Brett, Less than 24 hours ago, you were quoted as saying
'take me out of my cell and kill me!' Somewhere along the
way, Brett, you forgot that people cared about you. Just
don't run for governor."

It brings me to tears that I fell so low. It nearly ruins
me to realize that I have been so selfish, so self-absorbed.
I wish there was a way to re-write the past. There are
times when you are supposed to go to war.

"A time for peace, and a time for war."

I picked a FALSE SENSE OF PEACE peace over war. I should
have been going to war. Damn it. If I had it all to do
over again, I would have bitched up and fought.