Middle Child

Listen. Don't Speak.
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2007-10-09 13:47:10 (UTC)

mom..worse enemy

I love my mom.

I hate my mom.

Why do we experience such extremes feelings for our parents?

I hate her right now. I will never forgive for what she said
to me. never.

I never knew my mom had such thoughts about me.

How can a mother think so negatively about her own child.
Well, being a realist, I believe it's very possible.

My mom was the only person who made fun of me for my acne,
curly hair, skinny legs, long thin fingers and feet- i'm not
ugly. I just don't look nothing like her.

Can a mother be jealous of her own offsprings?

My dad is convinced she is.

We got into a huge fight saturday afternoon. I cried 2 hours
straight; I couldn't cry anymore. I can't cry anymore. I'm
20 years old now, I can't let her words hurt me like they
did when i was younger. HELLLL NO! I stayed in my room all
long weekend. Thanksgiving has been the shittiest holiday
for the past 2 years. I love thanksgiving.

Today, I came to school at 9am. I have a class at 2:30. I
couldn't be home alone with that woman. It's like I'm asking
to die. No one would stop my mom from killing me. Literally.

So, I'm just going to chill at school. The second place I
feel safe and where I know my closest friends are.

..... You're probably wondering what I did wrong.

I will tell you in just a few words. Our family computer is
old. IT makes weird sounds. It was going to crash anytime
soon. It just so happens to crash when my mom was gone for a
month. We got it fixed, however her songs were all deleted
(all 1500 of them). Song she downloaded for limewire.
Anyways, while she was gone. I bought myself a laptop.
BECAUSE, our family computer is very undependable. THAT'S
THE REAL REASON. My mom came back. She freaked! I mean, she
yelled at the top of her fuckin lungs, as if someone was
trying to kill her. She went on to say that I'm self-fish, i
deleted her songs on purpose (there was no way to get them
back anyways, ignorant bitch), then she went on to say how
im retarded and shouldn't be in university, im useless, all
i do is go out with my friends.


I'm loved. Maybe not by my mom, but I am loved.

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