pensive problematic

a thought in the mind of her
2007-09-24 05:52:50 (UTC)

08.DECEMBER.2006

i really don’t want to sound like I’m complaining but this
needs to be let out...
i feel like I’m not allowed to be selfish. it feels wrong
to complain about things I’m going through and the
responsibilities i have. in a sense--NO-- i did bring this
upon myself. it was my decisions that lead me to where i
am. and i have no regrets. but right now I’m wanting the
easy way out. i want some one to take me out of where i am
and put me in a place where i can be with my daughter 24:7
with out worrying about how I'M going to support us.
---------------------------------------------------------
how is it possible to hate and Love life at the same time?
work is work- it reminds me why i hated people so much in
high school and still do.
and i don’t speak of customers only. i need another friend
to talk to. i think the only human being I’m truly
comfortable confessing my troubles to is thousands of
miles away-- because i know i would never have to face him
the next day/ and if by chance we ever do meet i still
don’t think it would be a problem because I’m already so
used to telling him so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
-me too! sooner than later i hope... why couldn’t i just
end up alone like i had planned?
-BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO BE ALONE.
-so then why do i feel more lonely now?
-BECAUSE YOU KNOW NOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE WANTED AND
LOVED. IT WILL GET BETTER I PROMISE.
-okay...




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