Ben

Stuff
2007-08-11 06:55:56 (UTC)

I want to be there when you..

I want to be there when you feel pain,
I want to help you on rainy days,
I want to hold you as I sleep,
I want to be with you baby,
I want nothing else in this world,
I'd give it up all for you,
Don't think I won't,
I love you and im lost without you,
Does it even matter anymore?

I grew up alone in my own little world,
And all I ever wanted was to find love,
But along the way, as I grew older,
A deep resentment grew in my heart,
Bitterness for everytime I was left out,
Abandoned and left alone,
Thats worse than death itself,
Trapped behind these walls,
Living life by the rules isn't a life,
It's a court sentence and im about to die,
Does it even matter?
I died inside years ago,

Flashbacks when I sleep of getting beaten up,
Thrown around the room, hitting my head,
Concussed and confused my brother laughs,
I spent the next week crying.
Puking up blood and water,
He spent the weekend with his friends,
I was laid up getting yelled at by everyone else,
He trapped me in the closet once,
I screamed my head off and nobody came,
Nobody came as he beat on my brain,
As he pounded away, I drifted away,
If there is god where is heaven?
Why do good people do bad things and,
Why do I have to stay with my parents?
I've questioned my life since age six,
Since my mom threw the plant at my moms head,
Since my dad threw me to the ground,
And screamed some more,
All life is is another drama,

Hope is out the door,
I'm not afraid of life itself,
Merely afraid of myself,
I wanted to be so many things,
Wanted to be so many people..

The skies open to collect my soul,
I waive bye and before I do,
I look back at this world,
To see all of their faces,
Nobody will cry if I go missing,
Nobody would die if I die,
Nobody would care if I leave this life,
I'm stressed out to the point of suicide,
So frustrated that I feel this way,
So lost in my thoughts,


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