Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
2007-07-18 01:50:05 (UTC)

Jealousy

I think I am jealous of him. How very unusual.
Nonsensical, even. Jesus, there is something really
seriously fucking wrong with me.

I've started watching baseball more often again. A random
thing to write, I know, but...Scott Downs just struck out
Robinson Cano and silenced Yankee Stadium. (Funny, the
announcer just said: "and SILENCED Yankee Stadium!" I
think I could be an announcer. Shit. LOL.)

I got my storage space today. Here's hoping more drug and
gun runners don't cause problems there.

My mother was there. To help me pay for it, because I
have no money, and we were prepaying for ten whole months
of storage space, to get two months free at the end. I
guess it's a good deal, if terrifying for the fact that it
means I'll be requiring storage (i.e. living at home) for
such a long time. The reason that's terrifying? My
mother and I had a blow-out on Sunday evening and we
didn't even look at each other today, and barely exchanged
any words. Unless we were answering the storage people's
questions, or sorting out a detail, there was no
conversation. I mean, no conversation, and the rest was
very minimal, anyway. I did say thank you at the end, and
she asked if she should keep the receipts. Ground-
breaking conversation, to be sure. I don't know what the
hell happened, but despite the fact that she thinks I'm so
much more than good enough, somehow, I'm never quite going
to be good enough, or the daughter that she wants, needs
and wishes for. It's just not going to happen - because
even when I am - it's not good enough and not what she
wants.

I love this shit. Really I do. Time to go and feel even
more sorry for myself. I.e.: time to try to stuff a bit
more unnecessary food into my face and then go to bed.

K2




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