love_sufficient

RhoHome
2007-07-17 10:11:34 (UTC)

dove cool moisture lotion

note to self:
what if i had given in early? where would i..we be now? i
can usually force my eyes to see the end of things. but i
forced them to shut instead. is this the part where i regret
it? is this the part where i change my mind and it's too
late? is it too late? did it ever exist? am i crazy to even
think...
yes. the whole thought is... if the thought was a dude, he'd
be out of my league. just the thought. it's not ridiculous,
but it's not sane. so stop thinking about it. and move.

so let's put on some r&b for once. leave behind the
screaming agonies and hallelujahs of what you love. anthony
hamilton knows the sore spots. at least with this one. it's
called "charlene" and it's one of those painfully beautiful
songs. an
i-pledge-my-love-eternally-and-be-damn-sure-you're-gonna-cry-in-the-end
song. no matter what the outcome. there will always be tears.

i need to start setting some real goals for myself. been
wondering where my life is headed. yea, what's new right...
not constant... but numbingly beckoning. dreams are scary.
you have this dream that haunts you to pursue it. yes,
haunts. because there is that gigantic 'what if?'
surrounding it in this thick cloud. can't see your dream but
it's there. shrouded in something that makes you feel
thiiiiis small. and all ya gotta do is take a needle. pop
that bubble of gray. let the light shine through, then do
what ya gotta do. and this needle you need, it too is
hidden in the hay stack that is your current life. trying
to balance keeping the hay stack in a nice, neat pile while
looking desperately for that needle that will lead you to
the next step. all this hay is in the way. hah. my life is a
blockade on the way to my dreams. it is the berlin wall of
my life. and one day, it will fall. it will fall. i'll show
you. no. no, i won't have to. you'll see.




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