blkdragon

grounded
2007-07-16 01:47:27 (UTC)

The return-14

6/20--9:19PM—Work went well this morning, it was steady and
I made it to the job on time again, the team I work with
seems to be the smoothest in the shop; we have no real
problems with each other to speak of. I decided to lunch at
1 today, I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone, I did find
myself talking to Ben though and I’ve always enjoyed his
conversations. I left the job to get food for Pharaoh, they
had none and I decided to go to Boscov’s to see what was
left on my gift card, I wanted to get something for
Charlotte; I found a $20 upon exiting my car.
I wanted to get Charlotte something that wouldn’t take up
space in her home and found nothing, I will order that
silver cobra necklace though, I went to the store after
leaving Albany and bought fruit/oysters and deli.
I got a call from Charlotte, upon parking the car at my
apartment, the fact that she waited until she knew I was off
the job speaks volumes and we spoke of my upcoming vacation
plans; she told me not to have any expectations.
Charlotte and I flirted with one another, she likes to do
both flirt and be flirted with, I’m learning what pleases
her and displeases her; she told me that she’d wanted to
send something to me and couldn’t find my address.
Charlotte told me that she’d planned to send me a gift card
for Father’s Day, I’m hoping to see her this weekend, I told
her that I’d come and take care of her; she said she’d see
how she’s feeling and make that decision. I mentioned seeing
her in my robe and the fact that I’d planned to buy a summer
robe, she told me not to buy the robe, I guess she may be
planning to get me one and I’m planning to take her shopping
for things I’d love to see on her.
Charlotte will be having her procedure at Beth Israel
Hospital, I worked there ages ago, I worked in the
transportation department and my Mother also worked at the
hospital; I had my hernia operation there and it’s one of
the best hospitals in the country. I told Charlotte that I’d
call and leave messages for her because I want my voice to
be the first thing she hears upon becoming lucid, she told
me not to call because she wanted to hear my voice as I was
on the phone and not in a v/m, I told her to call me as soon
as she’s able and if I don’t hear from her before I get off
work I’ll call her. We’ve talked about a moonlight picnic at
a waterfall, what she’d like in the basket and other things
I think she’d enjoy.
6/21--10:51PM—I was even earlier to work this morning, I’ve
been seeing a couple of beautiful Philippine women walking
past my kitchen window, one has black hair beyond her ass
and one has brown hair between her shoulder blades; the
brown haired always wears a skirt. I may be earlier still on
Monday, I’ll have to be outside by 6:30 to see them and be
seen by them, 4 days in a row on time; I may be starting a
new trend. Throughout my morning, even watching the ladies,
Charlotte stayed on my mind; I wanted to call her so she’d
know that I’d be with her in spirit and that I wanted to be
with her in person. I had to wait until the end of the day
to call her, I’d wanted to call her every chance I got, I
don’t like the idea of her going through all of this alone;
I called her as soon as I got into my car and got no answer.
I’d get a call from her while I skated, I could barely
understand a word and she got irritated having to talk and
be heard over the music in the background, the good thing is
the fact that she wanted to hear my voice and share her
experience with me; I told her that I’d call her when I was
finished and that would be in the next 30 minutes. When I
called Charlotte she asked me to call her when I got home,
Charlotte was in a bit of pain, nauseous and bleeding
vaginally was unnerving her; she was also disturbed by the
staff’s not answering her call light. I think Charlotte’s
nerves were getting the best of her and her being alone
wasn’t helping, I told her that I really wanted to be there
holding her hand and she told me that she wanted me there
even though she wouldn’t be good company, I didn’t care
about her being a good host; I only cared about being with her.
Charlotte seemed to be pretty well doped up, her speech was
slurred and I barely understood anything she said, I found
myself thinking that I’d never want to hear her drunk; no
problem with Charlotte drinking to excess though. I called
her when I got home and got no answer, I imagined she was
sleeping, she returned my call and we spoke until she got
sleepy again; I liked the idea of her relaxing without
feeling discomfort. I’m hoping to go to her home this
weekend, Charlotte’s Daughter won’t have the time to stay
with her and her Cousin won’t make the time to stay with her
until she’s able to get around.
I told Charlotte that if there’s a next time for her to be
overnight in a hospital I’d tell the staff I’m her Husband
and request a bed for the night, she told me that they
wouldn’t do that and I told her that I can be very
persuasive, Charlotte said that she already knew how
persuasive I could be and I’m guessing she’ll be offering
her heart to me; I’d be happy to accept it.
I’m planning to take her shopping for a laced lingerie
outfit, thigh-high stockings, garter belt, bra and shrug;
something sophisticated that speaks of the sex kitten in her.
6/24--11:56PM—I’d been hoping to spend the weekend in
Stoughton taking care of Charlotte, she was in a bit of pain
but otherwise able to care for herself, I think we both
wanted me there and neither of us got our wish; considering
Charlotte had her Daughter in mind when she made her
decision not to have me attend to her is a good thing. I’m
glad Charlotte has her Daughter’s emotional well-being at
heart, it shows that her morals are in the right place and
that makes me feel good, I didn’t talk to her until Saturday
morning; she asked what I’d planned to do for the day and we
talked about how she was feeling. I wasn’t too happy when we
spoke, I was going through a maelstrom of feelings, most of
them selfishly motivated I think; I would take those
feelings to the rink and leave them on the floor.
There seemed to be quite a few women at the rink Saturday
night, why it is that women seem to gravitate towards me
when I’m emotionally volatile is a question that comes to
mind, I needed to be in my own space and none of them would
get an invitation; one girl approached me and asked if I
could teach her what I was doing and I told her, “not
tonight”. The girl would make it her business to stay as
close to me as she could and I tried to keep more than
enough space between me and everyone else, there was a kid
there that I’m familiar with, he looks like one of the
puppets on “Howdy Doody”; only the puppets face wasn’t
covered with zits, they were freckles. He wanted everyone to
know that we were familiar with each other and he wanted to
slap palms whenever we passed one another, I had to put a
stop to that and I think I did it with more civility than I
thought I had in me at the time, I’d leave early and the kid
would come over to talk to me for a bit.
I’d seen Paula earlier and found that Ray did indeed give
her the key to the room, that she charged him more money
than I told him it would cost, that Ray lied to her about
his need and reasons for moving in and the fact that Paula
didn’t need to rent the room; she was only doing that to
keep me from moving in with my Son, as though that would happen.
I returned home and decided to go to bed, my phone rang and
the call was local, I knew it to be Charles and was in no
mood to listen to any bullshit he wanted to sling at me and
I wasn’t in any mood to decipher truth from fiction; I chose
not to answer the phone. Charlotte called at midnight, I was
sleeping and I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her either, I
believe she called me this morning as well and I returned
her call; she didn’t answer the phone and I left v/m.
Charlotte called me later in the day, she asked what I was
doing for the day and I told her my plans, I’d called her
baby when I left the message and that let her know that
everything was ok between us; my problem wasn’t with
Charlotte, it was with myself. Charlotte was on her way to
the store for the Sunday paper, when she got home she asked
if I’d call her later or she’d call me later and I said
either/or, I was the one to make the call; I don’t think she
wanted to disturb me and when I called she was on her way to
sleep.
I bid Charlotte good night and allowed her to continue
heading to sleep, she was in a bit of pain and sleep is
always good for that. I’m heading to bed now myself, I plan
to be out of the house before 6:30 and I want to watch the
ladies heading to work.




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