Lost in Translation
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It goes with saying...
After years of amorous conferences, pseudo-arousing
mouth-to-mouth endearments and fortuitous embraces, he opted
to win you over for good-- as his heart ascended into a
relentless orbit around yours.
Your love was virtuous, but not in a manner he desired. And
when the barren saga had reached its climax you dissolved
all the perpetual rhetoric in the hopes of restoring the
only integrity your friendship had left-- indefinitely
jeopardizing your communication, rapport and relation with him.
What he was doing wasnâ€™t working, but something told him to
stay true to his instincts and as long as he stayed
persistent, heâ€™d vanquish in the end. Pure fiction, not
unlike the existence of Santa Claus (that was) -- as he knew
heartache was in the mail. Just as you knew the encoded
verdict had to be deciphered, sooner or later. Du-da-dum-dumâ€¦
Boys like us tend to accentuate emotion. We were taught to
be genuine, respectable, honest, and we were led to believe
girls desired a sensitive and humble man and it was the
alpha-male complex which taught the opposite-- to appear
detached, over-confident, unwavering and ferment an aura of
In accepting this, the female inclination had obviously
shifted, but how were we to know that it was â€œhook upsâ€ and
not committed relationships that women preferred? And
besides, how could they just slip the most trustworthy,
caring and committed men in their lives into the â€œfriendâ€
category so quickly?
For most women, sex has (and always will be) a main
derivative in any desirable relationship. And not unlike the
frivolous men who coax this feminine byproduct, sex also
comes with a vicious estrogen induced side effect of
dizzying emotion and attachment that is completely expendable.
In contrast, itâ€™s guys like us that care about what you want
and tend to your every need; we listen to every word and
hand out compliments without a second thought-- creating a
female impasse where the attention is not worth losing over
the ramifications of intimacy.
So are the â€œnice guysâ€ of now, paying the price of millions
of egocentric brutes of the past?
Probably, but the truth is this; as women evolved to be more
principally independent, all Mommy seemed to know was how
crappy Daddy treated her-- so she continuously swayed us
away from the lessons of masculinity-- lessons that might
have helped prevent us from being taken advantage of.
I recalled a time when I was the direct recipient of phrases
like, â€œI donâ€™t love you like thatâ€ or â€œI see you only as a
friendâ€; a piercingly godless combination of words that
wouldnâ€™t even exist if not for my explicit vulnerability and
I also recall my insipid retorts, they went something like,
â€œWithout even giving me a chance, you already know Iâ€™m not
right for you?â€
I remember when all interaction had to be one on one, or
with someone deemed, not a threat. I remember feeling
jealous for any little thing and seeing the look on her face
when she had to rearrange her plans around me.
Like plucking the leaves off a daisy, repeating the phrase,
â€œShe loves me, sheâ€™s loves me notâ€, I sat around wondering
why I wasnâ€™t getting anywhere.
Duh, I had missed the point completely!
My attention and energy were centered on the wrong idea and
when it came to my thoughts and actions; less became more.
I then decided, instead of lobbying for girls attention-- I
would focus on my health; instead of forsaking all options
that didnâ€™t include them-- Iâ€™d focus on my own goals and
most of all, instead of thinking about them (all the time),
Iâ€™d think of my family.
For once, I started believing in my own strengths and I
began consistently thinking positively. It didnâ€™t happen
overnight, but it happened nonetheless and people began to
What you needed from me...
â€¦was good old fashioned championing. Without saying a word
you needed me to vouch for your innocence, because you knew
deep down you were innocent in this affair. You know as well
as I, that human hearts are not equipped to simply change
gears and feel something they donâ€™t-- as much as he canâ€™t
flip a switch and stop loving you like he does.
In the battle of the sexes women now have the upper hand,
and as the old clichÃ© goes, â€œAll is fair in love and warâ€,
that is especially true in this generation and your
situation with him exemplifies this.
The writing was on the wall, but only you seemed to want to
Make no mistake, he will learn from this experience and he
will learn what the main derivative in your rejection of him
actually was; that not one person is responsible for his
complete happiness, especially you. And whether it was
unintentional or not, he placed that burden square on your
shoulders and coerced a split second decision. Whether it
was a lack of time, energy, strength, or a combination of
the three, you were not privy to undertake in a relationship
like that, not now, and certainly not with him.
Like I told you before, he was only going to see what he
wanted to see, but his frame of mind will change and one day
heâ€™ll be better able determine if he is man enough to
maintain a true relationship with you-- one the hardest
relationships for a real man to maintain, a platonic one.
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