PINKBABYPHAT

soul survivor
2007-07-01 23:05:36 (UTC)

not happy anymore

Dear Journal
i finally know the answer the now. I'm not happy as i use
to be. cameron went out of town this past weekend i didn't
miss him one bit while he was gone. Of course i spent all
day saturday with shane. it was nice we went for breakfast
and did soem shopping and then we watch a movie "shooter"
and laid on his bed and cuddled. it was nice i like being
around him but i'm in a situation that i was in
before.."kale and chad" retarded me. but in this situation
i didn't do anything i didn't kiss him or sleep with him.

my god i know i'm stressed out cause in like 5 days i've
lost 10 pounds and i really feel depressed about things. i
know i love cam but i'm not IN love with him anymore. i
love him enough to let him go and find happiness and love
again. be loved by someone who will truly love him.
i've been feeling like this for a while i thought i can
just pushed it out of my system but i cant. i'm not happy
anymore.

honestly how can i give this up? somone whose been nothing
but great to me and love me unconditionally. i told shane
that we had to stopped hanging out or at least tone it
down. he got mad at me and was like "i knew it was coming
and i'll stop calling and all later".

how can you tell some one who loves you so much and so
content with you, that you still love them but not truly
madly deeply inlove, and don't wanna be with them
anymore???

in his mind nothing can tear us apart and will always be
together.




Ad: