Cowgirl_Mom

Ramblings of a Mom
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2007-06-26 17:31:55 (UTC)

Sometimes, Volunteering Sucks!

I always intend to come back here to write, but then
something or other comes up and then I don't. Well,
today, I am making a point to come back here. Mom and I
aren't talking (haven't spoken to her since Saturday
morning, and that is saying a lot seeing as that our
houses are less than 150 feet apart), don't really have
friends to rely on, and husband is not much of a listener.
I know that part of it is that I have been off of my anti-
depressant for close to a week now, but we don't have the
money to get it refilled (first no insurance, now no $,
and when am I ever going to be stable enough to function
without it anyway?). I have been working on a volunteer
mission project for close to 5 weeks now. It is going on
starting Sunday (our one year wedding anniversary) and
ending the following Saturday. I have bent over backwards
to help with it and fulfill my duties as "Site
Coordinator" to the point of even neglecting my home and
my family. In response, I have been talked down to,
treated like dirt under their shoes, and basically dealt
with as if the whole thing is "thankless".
Maybe this doesn't make complete sense. The program is
one that works through the church (leaving out direct
names, wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea), and
chooses communities to serve. They have been doing this
for 28 years. This year, they happened to choose the town
that I now live in. I thought, WOW, here's God working to
get me back into working with youth. I step up to help
with the program.
It seems that things have not exactly gone smoothly with
this camp. The school district has turned us down for the
use of the showers, we can't get services for ice, and
there will be more than 60 people here Sunday to begin
camp.
I pull strings and get showers provided for us. We go see
them, all seems to be well, and then I find through a
third party that they are unacceptable.
I get meals donated/sponsored by various places, and then
I want to step up the asking when I find out today that
the kitchen coordinator's father passed away this morning
in another state. But I am told to essentially leave it
alone.
I am asked to generate sites for the work teams. By this
past Saturday, I had 28. I offer to do first eyeball
visits of these sites to cut down on wasted work time, but
am treated like I am some kind of idiot. It seems that
the control freak co-directors (the only PAID folks doing
this, I'm sure), think that I am incapable of taking care
of this.
When we do 'pre-site' together, they treat these people,
who are members of my community, as a number, a folder.
These are real human beings, they are not just another
site. They have stories, they are not just somewhere else
to work on. They have NAMES!
I just really needed to vent here, I guess. I am donating
my time and energy to this cause, but to be talked to and
treated as I have been lately by folks, makes me want to
hand them their 'folders' and tell them see ya later!
I am sure they are under tremendous stress, and this has
not been the easiest camp to put together, but when
someone sacrifices their family and homes to help only to
get dealt with in an ugly manner, it makes you want to
just say TO HECK WITH YOU!


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