hipeechic

Life's Sporadic Course
2007-06-25 02:10:32 (UTC)

What am I doing?

These days... who knows what's happening. It's almost like
I have a second personality. Life seems to be on two
extremes... daytime Chas vs. night time Chas. What the heck
is supposed to happen in between?

So a few of my friends think I need a shrink... that the
things I've said and the things that have happened in my
life have had some affect on me. Yeah, they have. Within
two months, another one of your friends commits suicide...
that's a definite factor. You hate your job and most of the
people you work with. You don't do much like you used to.
You just kinda let go of your life.

So at some point, I was a person who kept her apartment
clean on a daily basis... used to take her dog for 30 minute
walks everyday... and every night before she'd go to bed
she'd promise to make tomorrow a better day than yesterday.
Sounds so optimistic.

Decidedly so... but it is not always reality. You can hope
but it's not what's going to happen. So you know - just
junk it, man. I don't want to see a shrink. I feel just
fine... doing my art... reading my books... writing in my
journal. The day mares are the same, and it's just easier
to deflect these demons. I'm sure they'll come to haunt me
one day. Then hopefully I will feel better about this and
repay the haunt.

A thought.




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