Guava

kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
Ad 2:
2007-06-22 14:23:46 (UTC)

Feeling somewhat better...

So now that I was wrong about Sunday...No one wanted to
ditch us. A just thought we really invited him and his wife
over to watch paint dry. So he made other plans with J and LA.

John went to talk to A last night and in a stroke of luck J
and LA showed up at A's house. I was worried at first about
them knowing but I'm glad they were there to help fill in
the gaps. I just assumed that everyone made the decision
not to invite us to go drinking.

They just ran off and didn't think about calling us. I
think John said he got the point across that a simple heads
up about the new plan would have been nice. So next time we
have a chance go along.

John and I are getting married in less than four weeks and
I'm totally stressed. I only have a couple things I
personally need to do but it's still got me all wound up.
I've never really dreamed about how my wedding would look.
It was always about who would be there.

Having lost three of the people I wanted to be there in one
year. It's hard to not feel sad that they can't physically
be there. I have to remember to balance that out with the
number of new friends we have made. A is one of John's
oldest friends but I'm just getting to know him and his
wife. He's a great guy who just happens to be somewhat
scatterbrained.

So instead of not sleeping because I was pissed off. I
spent part of the night not sleeping because I felt awful
for being so pissed off.

I'm hoping that after we meet with the photographer tonight
I can make some butterhorns. I was surprised that when I
searched the Joy of Cooking I didn't find a recipe. Then
there wasn't one on Foodnetwork.com. I did find a lot of
them on other websites though. So I'm good to go. They
sound pretty simple.

I want them as a peace offering when we get together with J,
LA and A and his wife tomorrow night. We're all having
dinner together.

I feel like such a bitch for being that pissed off. I hope
never to get in that frame of mind again. I don't do well
with anger. It involves wanting to throw things, punch
people and lots of crying on my part. I just get crazy
upset. I assume the crying is a reaction to feeling like I
can't change things.

As long as no one laughs at my outburst then it will be a
hell of a lot better than the last time I remember getting
that pissed off. I blew up at some kids in high school and
they just laughed at me. That cause me to cry about it. At
the time I didn't realize crying was a standard part of my
reaction.


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