An inconcluded life
2007-06-18 07:31:09 (UTC)

A letter you will never read

It's been a bit over a year since our first re-encounter.
The magic of technology made our paths cross again. I have
no clue of what the purpose is, but they've crossed again.
The last time was 17 years ago. Amazing huh? Let me tell
you this:
As much as we both led our lives the way we decided, I know
there was a cycle that was left open. And we need to close
it. I've been giving closure to certain cycles for the past
two years and it has been rather painful.
On the one hand, I want us to close our cycle, but on the
other hand, I so wish that this was a new opportunity for
us! I see you and I get transported back to our last time
together. Your blue eyes hipnotize me and don't allow me to
focus. I know that it is very unlikely that we will ever
have a "normal" relationship like two human beings deserve,
but deep inside, there is a bit of hope lingering in my
stomach. I so hope things work out.
In the last few weeks, things have intensified a bit too
much and that is scary. It's scary to see you, to hear
you, to "feel" you, knowing that it is most probable that I
will never be able to actually touch you. You have awoken
something that had been dormant for many years. You have
reminded me of those magical moments we spent together and
somehow, you are being evasive about everything.
How dare you awake those feelings when you really don't
have the slightest intention of anything further? Why would
you give me hopes if you are not looking for anything? Is
it me that is getting the wrong signal? It is so difficult
to understand men.
As it is, I shall remain in a state of alert. Looking for
signals. Hoping.