This is the beloved air I breathe
2007-06-18 03:16:10 (UTC)

a proposal from the King to his bride-to-be

For the kingdom of heaven is like this, just like a king
preparing a wedding before the son, that sent out his
servants to bring in all the guests he said "come come come
to the wedding" to the highways and to the byways to the
good and to the bad he says "come come come to the wedding,
come come come to the wedding" says the Lord. There's gonna
be a wedding, there's gonna be a wedding, there's gonna be a
wedding, people get ready. Come, come come to the
wedding...(Misty Edwards)

Before I put myself out here, I want to introduce this.
This is a converstaion that God and I had today in my
journal. I start kind of halfway through, and I edit a few
details...I challenge you not to see this as just God
speaking to me, but as God speaking to you. What he says to
me are universal truths about God's desire for a bride - he
feels the same way about you, If you need to print out the
part that is God's "love letter" and paste it on the inside
of your bible to remind you of how God feels for you. I
belive that these are really God's words, and they are
backupable by scripture (ha, like my new word?) Ok, here goes:

This is taken directly out of my journal, I start halfway

Is every man to become my enemy? Can I trust no one? How do
I do this?

Listen to me, little one. This is why people cannot choose
on their own

But God, I don't even know if I believe that stuff


Well, I hope for it, I suppose. I hope that in the same way
you predestined you and I to be together that there is a man
that you have set aside for me. Maybe I'm just too cynical
to hope for it. that would require me to trust you
completely and I would NOT be able to take situations into
my own hands! Oh my!

And that's a problem for you?

well God, you know that I have screwed this up almost more
times than I can count. I have so much trouble hearing from
you in this regard, and when I do hear from you, I don't
know if It's you or me

But child, I have given you so may resources. you see?
listen them for me:

Pastor Gay

mom and dad

pastor spada


Good, those are the people I've given you, keep going

your word

Excellent. And how can you know me if you aren't hiding it
in your heart regularly? If you aren't digesting me
consistently. I hunger for you to know me. You sing your
praise and you spend time in my presence, but child, that's
only half of it – you MUST hide my word in your heart. I
know you can discipline yourself to do this.


Keep listing your resources:

Well, I guess the Holy Spirit. – it gives wisdom, but the
whole thing makes me nervous – people giving prophetic words
about who should marry. God, I'm sick of myself! I'm so
done with this. (edited a little bit here for the privacy
of the one I'm speaking about…) I'm starting to really hate
guys. really. God I don't wan to become callous, but I
don't really feel that I have a choice. how can I continue
to go on like this? With a man whose motivations I all of a
sudden don't trust?

God, I'm so glad that in my mind at least I trust you. I
think that in the deepest level, I'm afraid to trust you.
I've never had anyone actually come through for me. I've
never known anyone to offer me his strength, except for the
instances where Kevin has done so for me. (a bit more
editing here)

Child, there is not anything more that I can do for you to
show you how reliable and trustworthy I am. not only have I
proven myself time and time again in YOUR life, but all
through history I have come through. It's my character. I
LOVE to come through. Remember this: if you have a desire
for something that nothing in this world can satisfy, then
the conclusion must be that you were not made for this world.

Little one, I did not design your heart for your husband.
Although I bless marriage, that was not your primary
intended purpose. I designed your heart for me. You are
left so disappointed because you want me . Child, don't you
see? you want someone to come through for you, you want
someone you can blindly trust in – Child, don't you realize
that that's the only way to enter the Kingdom? With the
innocence and neediness of a child? You've been trying to
enter the world of men, and I've had this door to the
kingdom open for you! child, I have not failed you.

Now listen to me. I am not your well-meaning friends. I'm
not a person telling you what to do. I'm the Lord of Hosts,
I'm the holy and righteous god, I'm the fierce Lion, I'm the
tender heart. I love you so much! I dreamed of you, I
lovingly crafted you, and I've been continuing to sculpt you
the whole time. I created you for me. I want you in a way
so intense and real it would freak you out to understand
right now.

I'm not telling you what you should do. I'm not telling you
that you have to. That's not my style. But I'm inviting
you. Beautiful woman. I see you. I've been watching you,
admiring you, taking in your beauty, I've been watching you
through your pain, knowing you weren't yet ready, but now is
the time. I want to rescue you. To sweet you off of your
feet. I want to give you the love story that you were
created for.

won't you be mine?

Beautiful woman who captures my heart with her song, and
occupies my eyes with her dance: won't you come to me?

I'm not looking for you to bow at my feet. I'm looking for a
lover. Sister, ravishing one, this is this purpose you were
created for. Even if you miss everything on earth, even if
you get it all wrong and never end up with a man…forget it,
please, I implore you, fix your eyes to me.

All of that, all of the earth stuff, while it was created
for your pleasure, ultimately it was created to sent you
running back into My arms. If you won't get this now, it
will be harder to get as a married woman.

All of those realizations that you made in your moments of
cynicism about guys – they are all true. you will never
find what you are looking for on earth – Child, it doesn't
exsist down there. how could it possibly? What kind of a
God would I be if you could find your way on your own?

you will always come up empty handed.

you will always turn up reaching for the mirage.

Find your eternity in me.

your husband will only make life more complicated until you
have found your eternity in me. Seek me child. See, the
secret is that you don't have to seek hart – I have been
watching and waiting for this day, I stand before you – the
King waiting to take you in my arms, just say the words, and
you, my sister will become my bride.

Will you break my heart again? Will I have to wait once
more? Or will you return to me?

Oh father, King, Husband, this is the embrace that is real.
This is the one that is better than sex. This body is only
the physical house for the spirit – sex is only a symbol and
catalyst for the two spirits mingling one with another, but
lover, will you take my spirit? Take my spirit in this
embrace, consummate this union, these vows. Oh, Holiness,
Eternity – how could I have ever drempt of anything but what
you have been the whole time? Take me away! Hide me away in
your shelter. Be my protector and draw me into your safety
while I rest in your goodness. My I drink in your aroma?
May my spirit mix with your in an indistinguishable haze?