For whom should I vote?
or is it who? i think it's whom. anyhow, now that i have
made it through both the democratic and republican "debate"
i can safely say that there is noone that i like. well
that's not true. i like barack obama a lot. i can't help
it. it's just when john edwards turned into the slimy
sleazeball he is, obama threw down. seriously, i think it
would be great if at some time in the near future, obama
shows up at one of edwards' rallies and just yells him into
"YOU WERE 4 AND A HALF YEARS LATE MOTHA-FUCKA!"
but here i am stereotyping. at first it really bothered me
that eveyrone of the republican candidates was all revering
god. but then i toned that down to, "just please don't say
you don't believe in evolution" well even that proved too
hard for some of them.
sigh. i could never vote for obama because he's almost as
illogical as the "creationists" with his affirmative action
stance (although i feel that's mainly to appease the black
to be honest i really liked the hunter guy from california.
i was hoping to like ron paul, but he's clinically insane.
i like that one republican from colorado who was so
anti-immigrants i was worried he'd go into the whole
propoganda thing juli and i were joking about.
essentially we came to the conclusion that the only way to
truly implement a solid illegal immigrant "removal" plan
(which let's be honest is what most people want) is to learn
from the nazis. see we've been using them as teaching aides
for so long on what not to do...maybe we can use them on how
to do certain things.
like instill virulent hatred for people. "wir muessen die
well mr. tercado or whatever his name was came pretty damn
close last night. good times.
in short. i guess if i had to vote right now it would be
hunter. other than that, maybe i can vote for myself. i'd
be a great president.
so i'm back at work now. i'm really enjoying it too. we
have this receptionist. the receptionist's name is timea
and she's from the czech republic (insert mental picture of
every hot eastern european girl here). i was doing fine
with her until we were joking about making an international
cooking day. my supervisor was like, "yeah we have south
american, indian, and european."
"yeah both western and eastern european."
timea's face darkened to a degree that i thought was
"the czech is not EASTERN europe."
i like how she called it "the" czech.
"in fact. it is further west than vienna."
and here is where i should have shut up or whatever, but of
course i didn't.
"well it's not so much taken from a geographical reference
point but as to how developed the country is."
well needless to say timea is not my best friend right now.
although i think i'm getting her to dethaw. actually she
wasd quite nice to me today.
i asked her about her weekend (actually it's getting to the
point where i want to be friends with her again so badly cos
of how idiotic i was that it's starting to seem like i'm
hitting on her) and she replied with a classic gem that only
a european coudl give.
see she went to florida for the weekend and apparently there
was this "hip hop" festival.
"drrrrrrrredful! there were so many black people!"
haha, you should have seen the lunch table. it's like when
one of those records scratches and the whole world comes to
of course she didn't realize and leaned in towards me and said,
"i thought there were a lot of mexicans down there, not
black people. but they are so loud! really, like chimpanzees!"
now i'm going to assume that, because THE czech does not
have very many black people she is unaware of how sensitive
the whole primate thing is...regardless, most people don't
like being grouped as anything primate or prosimian.
anyhow, forgive timea, she's not racist, she's just not used
to the taboo of recounting things without a politically
other than that i went to borders today and i noticed
something that killed me. the workers in there have those
things in their ears like secret service agents. i asked
this lady where i could find david foster wallace novels and
she held her right finger into her ear, looked as if aliens
were speaking to her, wrinkled her nose, looked up, looked
down, nodded, and said, "i have to go."
seriously. i was standing there still without my david
foster wallace novel. i wonder what the emergency was? i
mean what could possibly happen in a borders that requires
that kind of wiring?
it's sort like the gap, although i don't know if they still
use them there.
so one thing that kind of bothers me bout the building i
work at is that there is the "security behind the desk" type
of person. i usually give the awkward smile, but i never
know what to do when i pass. do i say hi? wave? fellatio?
eh i don't know.
oh and by the way, i love the food network. i'm currently
watching some bartender competition. talk about a rough
life. i think i could do that.
which of course reminds me of my last topic. this guy who
works at my office looks exactly like the crazy trainer guy
in "night at the roxbury" and acts exactly like him. the
kicker was when i found this 20 lb jar of protein next to my
he's trying to get me to join a club and i'm afraid he might
eat me for my protein and shit me out if i don't join. but
it's $200 and it got all awkward when i was in there asking
how much it would be. cos the guy who was trying to sign me
up REALLY wanted me to sign up.
so i was like, "alright i'll think about it and come back."
then 2 days later i FUCKING SEE him on the street. it's
like i was running into a one-night stand. ugh.