Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2007-05-26 00:57:25 (UTC)

Quietly ... Not Thinking

It's 0525, Friday. 834pm. Slightly humid. A bit hot out
today, but it was otherwise beautiful.

Things still haven't been going well. We've decided to be
friends. I'm not sure how long that's going to work out, to
be honest. But, I suppose ... and as much as I hate to admit
it ... the most logical thing right now.

Whenever I've been in a relationship, I've always been able
to somewhat gauge how serious someone feels about me. With
her ... it doesn't feel serious. It upsets me. But I can't
change that, can I? There's nothing I can do to make it more
... serious.

Would I change how she felt if I could? Yes. In a heart
beat. And, that's what bothers me. Because, to do that even
if it were possible, is a selfish thing. And, if I'm selfish
... then I can't possibly trust myself to make the right
decisions.

And like I said, I say all this now because I feel ...
somewhat alright. Somewhat stable. But give it four hours
and I'll start to get the jitters again ... the addiction to
her attention.

Her whispers ... her comments. They drive me wild. It seems
as if I can never get enough.

... It's going to be so difficult getting over her.




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