This is the beloved air I breathe
2007-05-05 15:43:57 (UTC)

Totally ruined for life

Ha, I just woke up from a nap today, and I have to say
that I'm totally ruined for the whole day - I mean my day
is shot, shot shot. It's happened, that wonderful and
amazing thing - that thing where I have met the person
that I was absolutely created to be with - everything
about him, the way that his hand caresses mine when we
press them together, and the way that he holds me, and
just intiutively knows how to hold my face -
that ....omg...the way that he kisses me....and those are
just the physical things - for weeks now, I have been
getting to know this amazing man inside and out. we have
been spending hours and hours in conversation and time
together and I have really been falling in love with this
man deeply and at the core of his being. I have held
back, been patient, resisted, because right along, we
were "just friends". We hadn't even held hands or
anything -

And then last night happened. He ended up holding me, and
we were both so scared and emotionally moved by the whole
experience of holding each other, that we just lay there
like that for hours - hearts beating faster than any
human could have guaged...maybe even shaking a little
bit. HOURS later, we ended up kissing - and it was

It's like, my whole life, I have always imagined that
things would be a certian way with the person I ended up
with - and they never were. Nobody ever touched my face
the way I wanted (needed) it to be touched, nobody ever
understood the special way to hold my hand. Nobody
understood the value and necessity (and pleasure) of
holding me close - and then this man comes along, and
everything that he is just plain and simple lines up with
everything that I am, and we just match - we fit togeher
like two leggo pices that have been looking for the
connecting piece. (bad analogy because there are so many
leggo pieces that fit together).

I just can't comprehend how amazing God is, and why he
would choose to bless me this way, but I'll take it. And
I'm fighting that tendency to believe that something
aweful is going to come along and knock it all out of the
water. I'm choosing to believe that our God is a good God
who knows how to give wonderful gifts to His children, and
tha this is a beautiful gift that he has chosen to give

There isn't one part of me that feels or believes that
this is of anything but God. Satan is the master of
imitation and disguise, and this, ladies and gentlemen is
NOT the fake thing....this is the real thing - so real
that I'm afaid to breahte because I don't want to ruin it.

So, I'm ruined for the day. No good. Just smiles and
giggles and thoughts of "oh, it Is true..."...:)