The Amazing Racist & TV Theme Songs
as i was trying to recoup some of my sanity last night after
6 hours of studying contracts law, i decided to go on
youtube and watch that starburst commercial "berries &
cream" over and over. you must watch that commercial. the
best thing ever. as i scrolled down the comments i noticed
one linking to "The Amazing Racist", now i've seen some of
this guy's stuff before.
he's true to his name. he goes around and does amazingly
racist stuff. like he walked around in a KKK uniform and
asked all these black guys for a lighter and some gasoline.
another time he set up a jewish paraphenalia store outside
of a mosque, and the last one i saw was,he dressed up as a
geisha and went to a chinese restaurant and hassled the
at first i thought that it might be good for a laugh, but
the more i watched, i just became furious.
there was just something so viral and crass about it. if
anything it made racism exactly what it should be, a
horrible, despicable, and unintelligent mode of expression.
this is coming from someone who thinks that we over react
to every little thing that could hint at racism.
i'm completely against banning the word nigger. i'm
completely against don imus getting fired for what he did,
and i'm completely against al sharpton and jesse jackson for
using these things as their pedestal every god damn time.
but when i saw this guy i just felt sick. i don't know it
just seems to me that i have so little regard for anyone who
is racist because it just strikes me as the most low class
quality anyone can have. it's really beyond even explaining
why it would be considered low class. it's the same feeling
i get when people cuss a lot. there's just something about
that that makes me think so much less of a person.
which of course led me to a critique of myself. i cuss and
say racist things all the time!
so i started fretting about myself. luckily i had my
minority group with which i studied contracts today to ask
these questions to.
"do you guys think i'm racist?"
"well i said that we probably get a tax credit for having
you in our group because you're black and probably a felon."
"yeah but i knew you were joking."
"how'd you know that?"
"i don't know. you just strike me as someone who couldn't
possibly be dumb enough to believe that shit."
to this montez chimed in,
"yeah, it's like, wheneva you talk, and say stupid shit like
that, it's hilarious cos we just know it ain't right...you
know? like coming from you it ain't right."
well this made me feel a whole lot better and i promised
montez that i would help his family cross the border and get
a job at taco bell really soon.
so anyway, i don't know i just still feel sort of bad in a
way, like i would say it's a defense mechanism, but i think
i do it really just because i like making peole laugh.
on to something a bit funnier.
i was watching king of queens last night and i was reaaly
listening to the theme song and getting into it. you should
listen to it. the guy who sings it really gets into the
lyrics and the way he delivers the line, "my back is getting
tired." i mean he just adds emotion to the word "tired" that
which of course got me thinking of my favorite tv show theme
of all time: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. if you listen to
that, whoever sang that (or people who sang that) were
really into it.
so here's my qestion. what drug habit needed to be fueled
by those songs? do you think they enjoyed doing the songs?
i hope so, cos that would be high comedy. can you imagine
the guy who sang the king of queens theme song at a party in
[slowly hear the king of queens theme song coming on]
"awww, you guys...you KNOW that's mah shit! turn that
mother fucker up!"
and with this he steps on a coffee table with a wooden spoon
in his hand..."my back is getting TIRED!!!" and all the
chicks at the party go wild.
"you know i slept with the janitor of the studio that night
i recorded that song. i think she was from venezuela or
some shit like that...man those were the days."