Saw III, Midgets in Wheelchairs, and The Immigration Clinic
in reverse order of course. well i volunteered for this
program in our school where i can be used as an interpreter
(just in case there are any german-speakers who don't know
any english) for an attorney. i decided to actually
participate in one of the events which i had so deftly
side-stepped last semester.
well as it so happened there were no german speakers
present. not to make a generalization, but let's just say
that there aren't very many poor german speakers around my
parts. the languages which are most oftenly needed for
translation are spanish, some asian language or another, or
well i was promptly put on intakes which is a nice way of
saying that i get to pry into people's affairs. i sit down
with the prospective client and ask them such personal
questions as: age, income, prior convictions, and of course
'what are you here for today you deadbeat?'
the first person i spoke to was a japanese lady whom i just
couldn't understand. her husband started mumbling something
at me and within about 5 minutes i realized that i wasn't
getting past today's date on the intake form.
the second guy i "interviewed" was a bit more intelligible
but even more hostile to me. by the time i had gotten to
"place of residence" (the third question) he started
screeching at me,
"why you need know this fom me...huh? are you lawyer? you
"no but i have to get this information to give to the lawyer."
"i only talk with lawyer."
"you will be able to speak to one shortly."
ah the perks of volunteering.
so after my good deed for the rest of my life i decided to
treat myself to a cab. i was about to get in and get on my
way when i thought to ask how much he'd charge for the 5
"what? it's a 5 min. ride!"
"rush owha" (it was 7:30 pm)
the language clinic plus the cabbies were not boding well
for my love of man-kind at the moment.
so i got on the stank ass bus. i noticed the usual midget
in a wheelchair who rides my bus later in the evening. he's
always dressed in all leather which is kinda weird, but then
again he's a midget in a wheelchair, he could have bunny
ears on and people would think he's weird and not for the ears.
so anyway there i am praying to god that i'll make the new
episode of the office at 8:30 and it really looked like i
was going to make it when the catastrophe happened.
i heard the bridge or whatever it is the bus uses to get
people in wheelchairs or crazy people with those weird
grocery strollers on and off the bus being let down.
then the midget in the wheelchair rolled onto it. i was
closing my eyes to the sound of the,
"beep...beep...beep" as he was being let down when all of a
sudden i heard,
"AWHH!! OH MY GOD!!! ARRRRGGHHHH!!! YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!"
my eyelids tore open so fast it hurt and there i saw the
midget, no longer in his wheelchair, but sprawled out on the
apparently he had flown off of the little platform the bus
had or some shit like that.
well anyway, some people were trying to help him up but he
flailed his little arms and legs and shrieked at people,
"don't fucking touch me!!! you saw that mother fucker!!!
yeah you you asshole!!!"
this he was screaming at the bus driver who looked as
flustered as anyone i've ever seen in my life, stammering,
"man, i didn't know you wasn't close to the ground man. i
anyhow. the midget kept on shrieking, the bus driver kept
on flustering and i decided to walk home.
so much for the office.
well i spent most of today working as is the true make of a
law student. and tonight i watched saw III. now let me
just say this...saw 3 is not a movie to eat when you've made
yourself chicken fajitas. especially when the fajita
seasoning makes the sauce blood red.
now i don't want to sound like some horrible 25 year old,
conservative goodie two shoes, but god damn! i said god damn!
that movie was unbelievably sickening! i mean it's no
secret that some humans get a thril out of watching torture
and blood and gore. but to this extent?
it used to be that torture scenes were incidental to the
plot (like in james bond movies), but more and more it seems
like the plot is the torture.
i don't know what it is that gets us going when we watch
someone wreath in pain, begging and pleading for their lives
drenched in blood, but whatever it is, it's made 3 sequels.
it's just as crazy to me as those movies about serial
killers. but then again this is coming from a guy who
watched "the faces of death" when he was 14.
i guess there' something inside all of us that craves that
bloodthirstiness, maybe it's the same hardwiring that has
made people desensitized to the plight of the needy when
they are seeking legal advice and that only make you angry
that you're missing the office instead of feeling
something...anything for the midget on the sidewalk.