Jamie

Jamie's Daily Thoughts and Goals
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2007-04-04 21:33:55 (UTC)

Slacking...

So I missed my journal entry yesterday and feel a bit like
a failure however i am trying very hard not to be such a
perfectionist like i have been my whole life. I have to
keep telling myself that if i fall off the
proverbial "wagon" that i can get right back on in that
instance and not have to wait til the next monday, 1st of
the month, or full moon to start over. So, in honor of my
newfound non-perfect lifestyle i am journaling yesterdays
topics and accomplishments today...a whole day late....it
will be ok really....really? yes really!
ok so now that that's out of the way lets discuss tuesdays
findings. I got up early and had coffee and did my morning
meditations before my first week of the "survivors of
sexual abuse as a child" talking circle. I psyched myself
up really good and had my mind centered and ready for some
heavy discussions and topics only to find out that the
group had been "postponed" yet another week because some
of the memebers couldnt make it (again)...i was pretty
irritated at that since i work myself for this and then
get let down so to speak. I dont look forward to talking
about this kind of stuff 2 hours every week and certainly
dont feel comfortable doing it but it has to be done to
heal and when people cant show up that really cuts into
the rest of the groups time to heal. Anyway i am assured
that it will start for sure next week and so i am happy to
hear that things will begin finally. I didnt have any
episodes of bingeing but i did stop at wendys and got a
baked potato, small chili and a turkey panini sandwich. I
didnt eat all of the potato though. I am glad that i could
at least stop myself from ordering really bad food from a
fast food joint even though i wanted to stay away from
those places. i took nap late in the afternoon and did
some hypnosis. I got up, watched tv a bit and had some
dinner...lite and then went to bed. I did not sleep well
though and ended up getting up about 6 times. My goal for
today was to get up on time, get to my appointments and go
shopping without buying really bad food. I am home now and
did a pretty good job although i did spend a bit of money
on things i didnt really need at the dollar store and big
lots. i will be journaling later about todays events.
whew!! now i am caught up....


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