LoveGod

Different Worlds
2007-04-03 13:42:33 (UTC)

No thinking allowed...

It’s been a slow day at work so far. So I’ve been thinking about things. And I
realized that I don’t really think about things anymore. I used to think about
things going on in my life a lot. But now I just ignore things. Especially hard
things…mistakes I’ve made, things that hurt me, things I’ve done to hurt others.
And some things I never really let out here, but more in my written journal…lots
of things I didn’t want other people to see. Didn’t want to admit I was wrong.
Didn’t want to admit how bad I was hurting. Just like I’m struggling now with
admitting I’m depressed. Just like I can’t admit to anyone (not in real life
anyway) how much work sucks, how I’m not sure if I should even be in science.
How I hate not having any friends. How I never talk to anyone about anything.
And it’s all my own damn fault. I think that’s what sucks the most. And I just
don’t know what else to do. Now that was some good quality rambling that
probably made no sense at all. Oh well…




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