I drink Alone
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2007-03-24 17:56:06 (UTC)

This is where it all comes out and stays.

I walked out on my job last night. Before I did it I talked
to my manager and some friends. They kept telling me how
much stronger I am than I think, how quitting would be bad.
etc etc. And then I went back out to the floor and blew up
again so I signed out and went home.
Now I'm regretting it. I need my fucking job, I need my
money to support me and my son. So I'll probably go back
and ask for it again.
If they give it back I need to make sure this time I keep
my personal life and work life totally separate.
It's just so much shit is going on I don't know how. I'm
not sure I CAN but I want to try. I want to beat this
jealousy, anger, heartbreak.
The point that all this is going on because of one person
is pathetic. I'm bigger and better than that goddamnit.
It's like James told me, I need to get over Frank. Start
looking at him like a stranger. But how the fuck do I do
that? With all the shit we've been through.
I just want to get away and I can't. I'm making decisions
based on trying to run and then I stop and realize I can't
fucking run.
Something has to change before I go fucking crazy.