nin137

I'm so proud to become a lawyer!!!....Now I'm so ashamed!

let me start this journal entry out by saying that first,
this is entry 666, which seems only appropriate and secondly
i want to become a lawyer more than anything. coming close
to the endof my first year in law school, i am so wholly
solidified that i want to become a lawyer it's almost scary.
i'm like that stalker boyfriend, stalking the legal
profession from the bushes of legal education, hoping to
make the legal
profession realize how much i love it...then i want to have
sex with the legal profession...like an animal.
anyhow. i love law because it let's go of my cynicism
(imagine that huh?). i truly believe that the rule of law
is the biggest fucking deal in the world. i think that
representing someone in the courtroom is my highest honor,
and i would never take giving legal advice lightly.
that being said, i was treated to the comoplete gambit of
the legal professsion today.
in the morning a district judge came to talk to us. i had
read his holdings and i laughed outloud on a few. he was
sarcastic, but you could tell that underlying it all was a
real willingness to help and make the legal ordeal as
painless as possible for the litigants.
well he spoke and he was just someon that you see as a good
guy. you know those guys? they just exude
that...well...niceness. he was funny as shit while talking
ot us about fucking personal jurisdiction...personal
jurisdiction! there's nothing funny about that! anyhow, he
was just saying about how he wanted nothing more than to
make the legal process as efficient as possible and how he
eventually gave up his career as a defense attorney because
he couldn't take the thought that he could possibly screw up
and it meaning someone could land in jail.
this honest self-critique was refreshing in a profession
were all the niggas in the field act like god himself would
give them a handjob if they so asked.
anyhow, i was seriously floating after this guy talked. and
you could just tell the mood in our class. everyone was
just proud of what they were doing. we talked about him and
everything he had said, just feeling great.
then came the torts trial lawyer in the afternoon.
just as the judge was a nice guy, you could just tell that
this guy was the scum of the earth. the first major
difference i noticed was that this guy was determined to
make sure that we liked him. the judge was more like, "hey
here i am, check me out."
this guy was like, "you better fucking believe that i'm a
bad ass. people say i'm an asshole, but i'm not...i swear!
i'm a badass!"
anyhow, he just started going on and on about how he wasn't
doing it for the money but the emotional aspect. once again
a sure sign that he was gratifying himself through the
money, cos the judge never EVEN mentioned money in his
entire speech. anyway, he was going on and on about how it
was justice that he was after and i was seriously about to
throw up in my mouth.
so he was going on and on about this case where his clients,
"only wanted justice, they didn't care about money one iota."
so i raised my hand,
"how much did you end up suing for?"
"$3.4 million"
"why didn't you just sue for a nominal amount of $1?"
my heart was racing. i'm not even joiking. it didn't seem
nearly as horribel when it was in my head, just a mere
question that was itching me. but when it came out and the
murmures went around, i realized what it meant.
"well...my clients wanted compensation." he looked around a
bit, "plus it's silly going to court if you can't make
money..." he looked around some more, "i mean silly for the
lawyer." with this he gestured to himself.
are you fucking kidding me? did he not just comopletely
contradict himself?
i was fucking boiling. i don't even think that i can
adequately describe the hatred i felt for this guy. and it
was just personal too. cos he was making the profession
that i love into a shit fest. he was the fucking reason
that people hated lawyers.
god i was so incredibly pissed i swear i was seeing spots.
i don't think i've ever felt so angered in my entire life.
i wanted to rail on him, but i didn't.
and right now i feel so cowardly for not calling him out on
it. i mean i really feel like a pussy here.
speaking of which. to solidify how much i hated him. he
started in on stereotypes (inadvertenly mind you, which is
how you can tell the true bigots).
he actually said the following, "now, i know you all think
that women are the emotional ones...but they're not. they
turn into granite when they're in the jury box."
then he said,
"i love having black people in the jury box. they know
suffering, they've suffered for so long. they can really
feel pain."
jesus christ. what a low life mother fucker.
anyhow. right now i just feel like scum, 1.) for not
calling him out and 2.) just that he was a lawyer and he was
a part of what i wanted to be. i will never be like him and
i hope to god i become like the first guy.
just so that i can properly thrash assholes like this
fucking trial lawyer.