blkdragon

grounded
2007-03-20 09:46:19 (UTC)

Close that door

3/19--9:11PM—Didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, I
was heading out the door when Pretty called, another memory;
I talked to her for a brief time and told her that we’d talk
tonight. I didn’t have too difficult a time at work today,
Joshua called for his Brother’s number, my therapist wasn’t
too bad and it started snowing before I drove home.
I decided to send Charlotte an email telling her that I was
sorry for being thoughtless, I then decided to call her, I
didn’t think she’d answer a call from me and when she did
she told me that she was (indeed) angry with me; she said I
was lucky she didn’t live in New York. I told Charlotte that
I didn’t send that email with malice aforethought, that it
wasn’t my intent to hurt her feelings and then realized that
it would indeed give her something to think about. I told
her that I’d sent an email apologizing for my
thoughtlessness and went on to tell her that I’d listened to
her talk about her feelings for Billy and came into her
drama knowing in my heart that she still wished she was with
him, I told Charlotte that if I wasn’t the main course I
wouldn’t be on the menu; she told me that no one is on the
menu these days and I guess that only leaves her
“fuck-buddies”. Charlotte told me that she was going to call
me, she started telling me what was happening with her, her
upcoming physical exam and the fact that she still hasn’t
had her talk with Billy; even though it was his idea to have
a talk.
Charlotte has even gone so far as to email her schedule to
him, she told me that she’d thought about the email I’d sent
and wondered if I was telling her that she wasn’t a woman,
that would be a determination she’d have to make; she
certainly proves to fit a “girl’s” profile. Either way, I
made the break I needed to make, sadly enough; Charlotte now
has neither of us and that’s not really my concern.
Charlotte was supposed to have her talk with Billy a week
ago, I guess he’s making her sweat, if she was the woman she
believes herself to be she’d walk away with her dignity
intact; he’s done without her since the beginning of
December and I think that means he’s moved on.
3/20--5:29AM—I felt good after talking to Charlotte, I ate
and laid on my bed, I woke at 1 and got into bed; my phone
rang at 4 and I didn’t answer it, it was Pretty thanking me.
I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I have a few things to
do to get out of the house on time and that was enough
motivation this morning.




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