Sarahbellum

a thousand yesterdays or just one?

I still play the counting crows. I still sing along. To
myself. I remember the magic as though it was yesterday and
I tell myself that I was mistaken. How can magic fade? If
I didn't still love him, I wouldn't believe in love. When I
hear someone else telling me they love me, I just smile. I
don't believe they do and I know I don't. When they say
they want to marry me I change the subject. I can't see
myself marrying now. I tried to think about all the options
that were open to me at first...but now I've experienced
those options and they've fallen flat. When I dream he is
there. When I open the fridge he is there. The memories
don't fade. They get dusty and then I cry and they're
brand new again. Time has made me forget some of the pain
that made me think I'd never be able to stand back up. I
have to remind myself of the bad...but the good....the good
reminds me of what it was to feel complete. I've said too
much. I've laid myself open for him. If we never meet
again in life. Never touch or share secret hand gestures I
know I will survive but he's the only one that ever made me
believe in love.