Waka Waka Waka
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2007-03-11 05:38:00 (UTC)

Friday night

My girlfriends have been planning on all of us going out
since Monday, I warned them ahead of time for them to go
ahead and start without me because I have been really busy
this week at work and I wanted to go to the tanner when I
got out of work and still had to pick my son up from
wrestling, and I wanted to make supper for the boys before
going out. They started calling me at work at 4:00 and by
6:00 they were already half in the bag and were calling me
every 15 minutes. I ended up meeting up with them at 8:00
and we headed off to the bar. I forgot how much fun the bar
was :) it was really nice seeing all
the people and catching up on old times.
We left there and headed to the club (now mind you, all of
my friends are wasted! But I was pretty much nursing my
drinks because I was driving and I didn't want to get
pulled over. We went to the club and my friends were OUT OF
CONTROL!!!!! This is the point where I started to get
pissed off. One of my friends (who is married) rubbed on
every person who couldn't move away from her quick enough
and I tried to tell her to knock it off and her friend (who
I didn't know before that night) was at the table talking
about how she was going to meet up with her boyfriend later
that night (gee, I guess she must have forgot that she is
MARRIED!) so the whole table of girls were like one big
hormoan gone wild and I was sitting there being quite
(except that they took it to being bitchy) and them
preaching to me that I needed up relax and unwind and at
midnight I got up from the table and bid them good night
and went home. A couple of them have called me today and I
didn't answer the phone or even listen to my messages. Oh,
the guy I use to date in HS was there (he came down a
couple of months ago and fixed my sons car) and he came
over and talked to me for awhile and ask me how the car was
doing and I said that it had started clunking when you make
a turn and I thought it was my CV joints going bad and he
said that he would bring some tools down to my place and
take a look at it :) he is such a nice guy and I remembered
that he treated me really nice when we were dating in
school and I'm pretty sure that he would be a really nice
guy for me to start dating but------nothing there. I don't
understand----why can't I feel anything anymore for
anyone? I'm so over the divorce, so over the anger of the
affair, so over the pain and embarrasement of the divorce,
I'm almost even over the loan I had to take out to pay off
the divorce------so why do I look at men as the enemy? I
think my problem is that I want to be wined and dined, I
want something I can't have---a story book romance. I want
a relaxed night just sipping wine and talking for hours in
front of a beautiful fire, I want to sit in a grassy field
leaning on someone watching the sun go down, I want to sit
on the swings at the park and laugh like chilren with
someone I can be me around. I want to meet someone that I
feel so relaxed with that we can spend the night together
just holding each other and not have to worry about them
pressing me for sex, and waking up and getting the paper
and having breakfast in bed reading the paper to each
other. I guess I want and expect the impossible. :( I
can't be the only person who wants this out of life, there
has to be a guy out there who feels like I do. Thing that
sucks the most is that my XH use to be this person.