Aa-chan

Diary of a Deranged Fangirl
2007-03-05 02:31:51 (UTC)

The Long Road To Recovery

Finally I'm starting to feel more like myself and less like
a mindless zombie. That hideous bacterial infection seems
to be subsiding nicely now that I'm on the antibiotics and
my cough is appearing less and less, but I'm still going to
continue to take that medicine cause I do still have
coughing spells every once in awhile.

It's really nice to feel like my old self again. In fact
I'm feeling so much better that I brought some fabric
yesterday and started a new EGL dress called Briar Rose.
Basically it's going to be like the Metamorphose dress in
that it has a ruffled bustle in the back and ruffles in the
front, but it's not going to have shirring (I don't know how
to do shirring just yet) and it's going to have one or two
frills and fancies.

Since this is something I'm making just to past the time;
its not for a convention or anything like that, I want to
take my time with it and make the best dress I can. Besides
the next convention isn't until (possibly) June with Anime
Mid-Atlantic and that's a ways off.

Apart from feeling better in the physical health department,
I'm starting to recover in the metal health department as
well. You see, Thursday I submitted an application and my
resume for a new job. I don't think I'm going to get it,
but I did feel better now that I'm officially in the market
for a new job. There is this one job that I want to apply
for, something for a video game reviewer, but I don't know
if I could get it.

The place wants you to turn in a review of one of their
articles as well as a copy of your resume. I've never
written a video game review in my life. Yeah, yeah I know
I've talked about video games that I've played on here, but
this is my diary that's a little bit different then an
article. Well maybe it isn't but I have no formal training
in article writing (I've only written fanfiction). I want
to try, but I just don't know. I have to mull it over a
little more before I decide anything. I need to make a
decision soon cause I know the clock is really ticking away
on that.

Another thing that I've done to pave the way to a better
future is I signed up and paid for a non-credit class at
Temple. This class is this coming Thursday and it's only 1
night. Something about learning how to become a wedding
planner. This 3 hour class Thursday night is supposed to
cover what skills, education, experience, and traits you
need to become a successful wedding planner. If all goes
well with this pre-cursor class, I will be taking the next
wedding planning class in April and if I really, really like
that, I'll take the final class in May and maybe pay for the
certification program in December.

I'm kinda excited to see what this class will bring on
Thursday. One thing is certain though, it won't be my
normal Thursday night of coming home from work, disappearing
into my room and going to bed early... I think this will be
good for me. Explore a completely different avenue, besides
wedding planning can't be half as bad as what I'm currently
doing?

I keep thinking about my current job though and I keep
thinking that I won't be there for very much longer. Sadly
I think I'm going to be getting fired soon and I'd much
rather quit then be fired. I've never been fired from a job
before and I really don't want that to start happening now,
even though it would be for the best. I'm kinda a control
freak and would far rather leave first then have them get
rid of me first.

I want to leave Joann this lovely letter of resignation
spelling out in vivid detail of all the atrocities I have
endured over that last year and 11 months. I'm really
looking forward to that too and I would hate to be robbed of
my chance, but if that's the case so be it. Or maybe I'm
jumping to conclusions I don't know. I do know, however,
that I can't stay there for very much longer. I'm unhappy
and I know the upcoming yearly review is going to result in
the question, "What's more important? Your job or your
conventions?"

And while I am starting to slow down on my convention
hopping, don't make me choose cause you're not going to like
the answer. Cons are still apart of who I am and what I
like to do. Yeah some of the thrill is starting to dwindle,
but I know come June and AMA time, I will be looking forward
to going with Brendan and his friends. In fact I told them
that if they bring their Wii's and a couple of projectors, I
may try to get a suite so we can all hangout together in a
massive Magfest like party-type thing. It will be great!

So uhhhhh, as you see, con hopping is still very central in
my life and there's no way I'm going to give up part of who
I am for some crappy little pencil pushing job. Not my
career, my job. As in something to do for the time being
not something to base my life or future around.

When I was hired I never once said that I would be there in
ten years, or five years, or three years. I don't believe I
ever said I would even be there for a year. I was going to
be there for as long as I could tolerate it and now I can't
tolerate it anymore and it's time for me to bounce. I make
no apologies for it either, that's just the way I am. I'm
not like the others. They can't stand their jobs, but none
of them make an effort to leave, I don't understand that. I
hate my job and I look for an out ASAP. It happened in
Glenside, it happened with Bill, and it's happening here.

Besides, if I told Joann I was thinking of leaving and I
didn't leave that would mean she would have me by the balls
and I remember telling her in the first 4 months of my
working there that I was unbribeable. She giggled and said
and I quote, "I highly doubt that." And I looked at her with
a straight face and said in my sternest voice, "I don't!"
So if I don't leave it will prove her right. So a girl's
gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Recover from a really
terrible traumatic employment experience.

Woo-hoo: Feeling better in all ways, but I'm still not 100%
in both cases, but we are on the road to recovery.

Barf: Eh, nanimonai




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