Never miss a law school event which serves alcohol
as you may be aware from my previous journal posting, i am
quite fed up with the plethora of pathetic patsies who are
running for electoral office at my law school. so to be
fair, i decided that i should go to the SBA candidate forum
and see what was going down.
as is the case with any law school there was alcohol and
pizza present. the evening went as scheduled. me making
fun of the candidates and testing the water with my "equal
chairs" representative initiative (to wit i have gotten 37
yays and 3 'do i know you?'s). anyhow, there everyone was
sipping the drink, gettin' drizzy and getting louder.
finally after about almost two hours of mingling the
candidates took to the podium. one after another they went
up and blurted out their idiotic agenda. how they were
going to make our lives at the law school a complete
fuckfest, filled with pizza and more beer.
well this was all annoying and completely boring and i was
already getting pissed that i had given up king of queens
for this bullshit when our SBA president hopeful took to the
podium. out of respect for the man that single-handedly
saved my evening, i will withhold his last name...also in
case his aspirations turn to something greater than the
pedestrian position of president of the SBA.
mike was crunk. sorry...CRUNK!!!! you can't really put in
writing how severly fucked up mike was. apparently he
forgot the mantra of, "if you have to advocate yourself for
a public position and have to speak to a crowd, limit the
jello shots to 4."
as he drunken shuffled up to the podium there was a buzz
giong around the room. he was obviously not right. there
he was standing by the podium (note i say 'by' the podium,
he was too drunk to actually notice that he wasn't behind
it) with a drunken smirk on his face.
"gasoijs" : "good evening" (at least i believe that's what
he had meant to say)
now i could go on and on and try to recall the dialogue
verbatim, but i will cut it short in summation.
he first said how he was, "the best" and "was totally
radical". he thought this was hilarious and kind of
chuckled to himself. then he started referencing these
statues we have in our school. both of them are naked
(don't ask me why, i'm sure there's some sort of symbolic
thing i'm not getting) and he proposed that when he, mike,
would become president of the SBA, he would erect a naked
statue of himself.
now you'd think that throughout there woudl be some hearty
chuckling or what not. but no. other than a few nervous
laughs it was uncomfortably silent. i mean this man was
WASTED, someone had to get him out of there...which was the
biggest mistake of the night.
so there he was still teetering next to the podium not
understanding why a statue of himself in the nude was not
generating the guffaws he had hoped, when another candidate
for president slung an arm around him playfully, jabbed him
in the ribs kindly, and said, "well that's mike, alright,
well let's move on to the forum"
mike brushed the hand off, leaned back (im assuming so as to
focus on the transgressor) and just had an evil look on his
face, "i'm not done here."
then he turned to the audience. and shouted, "VOTE FOR MIKE!"
well with that he plumped himself in the chair and i swear
to god he looked like for a second he was about to pass out.
finaly he regained consciousness and then the most awkward
candidates were answering questions posed during teh forum
and mike kept on interrupting people, making fun of them.
seriously, this dude was a mean drunk. and looking over
this journal right now, i'm not even giving justice to how
incredibly fucked up this guy was.
like for example, leslie was saying how as the parking
representative she would make sure that the space across
from the school would be converted into student parking
spaces, to which mike chimed in,
"yeah we wouldn't want you people to hurt yourselves walking
okay, stupid because that whole initiative is so that women
would have a place to park close to the school and not have
ot rely on the security service to drive them to the parking
lot we have now...really fucking tight mike, really tight.
so anyway, he kept on interrupting people and just making an
ASS out of himself, all the while believing that he was
jerry seinfeld in person up there.
everytime someone tried to get him away he got really
aggressive, so finally they did the only thing which they
could do...conclude the forum.
so now i'm assuming he's nursing a hangover. and i just
wonder. where does this one rank up in the waking up the
next morning, partially remembering last night and thinking,
the best part was that the forum was taped!!! but i couldn't
find it on the media website (i guess for obvious reasons).
so anyhow, it was entertaining, but in a way it was really
weird, just watching a man destroy himself like that. i
mean that shit stays with you FOREVER. are these guys and
gals just too stupid to realize just how much integrity
matters as a lawyer?
christ. anyhow, if that video surfaces, i'm linking it for
the benefit of all.