supergoddess

This diary is my kief,hashish,&opium pip
2007-02-05 22:52:15 (UTC)

you're just like a dream

I can't believe this actually happened.

On Saturday night I was hanging out at Ashley's house with
Jon. We were both upstairs, waiting for her to come
upstairs and play xbox with her. He was sitting on an
armchair and pulled me onto his lap. We sat together for
about 5 minutes, just waiting there for her.

Our faces were really close together, and he said "I don't
think this could be any harder"

Then we decided that we'd go find her, because she was
taking too long. He asked me if I wanted a piggyback ride,
and I said okay.

He picked me up, we were facing towards eachother and I
wrapepd my legs around his waist and held onto his
shoulders. Instead of carrying me around to find Ashley,
he leaned me up against the wall and I pressed my lips
onto his, and we started making out. I can't even explain
the range of emotions I felt when it happened. It felt
unreal, like I was just dreaming again. The entire moment
was just so perfect and indescribeable.

We heard someone coming, so we just walked into the other
room like nothing happened, and found Ashley on the
computer. Then we decided to watch a movie (I decided on
Sixteen Candles).

We were sitting on the couch together, and at first he was
afraid to kiss me incase anyone saw us. He kissed me on
the lips from time to time as the movie was going on.
After a while we were making out again, his hands on my
hips, down to my thighs. After a while our hands were down
eachothers pants, kissing passionately. (We didn't do
anything besides kiss though), until the movie ended 3
hours later and he had to leave. It was just so...
intense, and crazy.I still can't believe it happened. I
just can't get enough of him.

The next morning on Sunday he texted me saying that he
felt guilty because he did this behind his girlfriend's
back and how much more complicated it made everything.

Then that night,I was still at Ashley's house. Jon and
Kenny came over to watch the Superbowl. I didn't think
that it would happen again, even though I hoped it would.
He was playful, cuddling with me and hugging me when we
were watching the game. He kept looking at me, my head was
on his chest and we kissed again. Kenny left the room for
a few minutes (I forget why) but as soon as he left, I was
on top of him we were making out again. I didn't watch the
game because I don't really like football anyway and I
basically cuddled with him the whole time half awake.

This morning he called me to tell me that he wouldn't be
in school because he was still sick and that I should have
a good day.

Right now I really don't what to do about this entire
situation. I decided that if he actually wanted me he
would've dumped her a LONG time ago. So I figure that I
should just end everything.

But there's always part of me that doesn't want to. I
guess I'm just weak, because I just want it to keep going
on and on.

But I can't let it, and I won't.




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