Waka Waka Waka
2007-02-04 10:16:23 (UTC)

Can't believe it is Feb already!!!!!!!!

It has been sooooo cold here latley!!!!I feel so bad for my
babies in the barn, I've locked them in the barn since mid
Dec and they are NOT happy!!!! I did a bad thing with
letting them out of their pen to play and follow me around
in the barn when I was working in there one day and now
they want out all the time and are always rushing the door
trying to get around me. I didn't realize how much trouble
they could get into when loose in that big barn----it was
like trying to watch and intertain a couple of 3 year

Got my oldest grades in the mail----boy that kid has pulled
his head out of his butt!!! All A's and B's!!!! He was an
all A student til he hit Jr High then his grades went to
D's and E's but since High School started he is back on
track with A's and B's. My youngest started Jr High this
year and he also took a nose dive down to D's but I have
hope that if my oldest can do it in HS then hopefully my
youngest can also. I push my boys really hard (maybe to
hard sometimes) that they have to do the best they can so
that they can get into a good college and leave this town.
Not that I don't want them here but I want them to have a
life outside of corn cob county. I was talking to my
neighbor (she is like a mom to me and my boys---that woman
makes a mean apple pie!!!:) and I was telling her that my
oldest has already picked out a college and refuses to look
at any other, she said that her youngest picked the same
college and field but she feels that she blackmailed him
into staying here because she didn't want to lose him and
she said that she now see's the error of her ways because
he is so unhappy here working for such low money. So as
much as it is going to kill me I will push my babies to
leave me and get out of this little town.

Why does it seem like everything goes up all at once!!!??
I noticed that my two year old T.V. in the living room has
been acting funny (But I do need to check the connections
because the cat is always back there playing) and then my
furnace is makeing a weird sound before it turns on, like a
CLUNK!!! and then 2 minutes later turns on (but I have
lived here for 13 years and that is the original furnace
that came with the house) then my T.V. in my bedroom is
starting to turn off funny, kinda like a POP noise then it
turns off (but that T.V. is 12 years old) then my over the
counter microwave handle is starting to crack and I went to
the dealership to buy a new handle and they told me $55.00
FOR THE STUPID HANDLE!!!!!!!?????? My back door is not
staying shut tonight so I had to brace a chair under the
handle until tomorrow when I can go to the store and get a
new know and TRY to fix it right this time. I know all the
stuff is happening because it is old and needs to be
replaced (except for my living room T.V. and back door) but
does it ALL have to happen ALL at the SAME time!!!?? Oh
well, what are you going to do?

J started texting me yesterday----nothing bad----just
innocent stuff about the weather, is my work slow or busy---
what have I been up to? Weird, wonder what he wants. Why
after all these months does he start to text me? I've been
staying home on the weekends so it's not like we are
running into each other.

I've been doing really good on my sleep but the last couple
of weekends I have taken a nose dive with sleeping again, I
don't know why, it's not like I lay there thinking of
anything----I just can't stay asleep. Like tonight, I went
to bed at 10:00 (yeah, I know, real exciting life I have)
and at 12:00 I woke up because I bit the side of my tongue
(I ALWAYS do that when I sleep----I'm a teeth grinder) and
have been up every since.

My youngest has started wrestling, now when my oldest was
in wrestling in Jr High, my youngest (who at the time would
go there after intermediate school to watch the practice)
and the coach took him under his wing and started have my
youngest practice with the older kids and this is the first
year that my youngest can compete through our school (next
week is our first meet so I'll let you know if his is any
good or not) but anyway, my kids Dad really have nothing to
do with them, they go months at a time without seeing or
hearing from him (even though he live 5 minutes from me) so
my youngest came home from practice Fri and told me his Dad
was at practice-----DAMN that pissed me off!!!!!!!!!!!!
The only time the man comes around is when the boys are in
sports!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, he did coach the youngest soccer
team last year and he did to a really good job----but these
boys need to see him outside of sports!!!

Let's see what is some good news? My friend paid off alot
of the debt that she put on my CC so it only has a balance
of $100.00 now (which makes me feel able to breath again)
ummm, spring is on it's way. I've lost another 7 lbs.!!!
I'm TRYING to slow down in my life and look around for
things that make me happy (that one I'm still struggling
on, but at least I'm trying to make the effort:) My vehicle
will be paid off this year so that is one less payment and
since I decided to keep it and not sell it because of it's
low miles I shouldn't have to worry about a payment for
awhile. My one brother called me and told me that he had
papers for me because he signed my boys over on his 401K
and life insurance policies. I know there is a God because
he has heard my prayer's about how much I worry about my
boys and what would happen to them after I am gone, I only
want the best for them and I worry about their future
without me.

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