lil el rdnk

Life Story
2007-01-19 06:01:02 (UTC)

When it comes down to it

I am going to just start from the beginning and let it all
out. Everyone should know by now what or should I say who
it deals with. And if you don't well then you don't know
me very well.
It started off as me being shy. I was scared and bored. I
showed up at your house. After time it became a
friendship. I was around you all time, and spent alot of
time with you.
Then I got this attraction. It was like no other, it
wasn't about feelings. I just made you into a goal. You
were a bet to myself. I don't really know if it was to
prove something to myself or just to have fun or even if
it was just the whole you thing.
Then once again as my life always does, my feelings
changed. I hung out with you all the damn time. I thought
about you and hanging out with you. I talked to you alot
too. I wasn't obsessed or in love but I realized that in
all reality I had feelings for you. I thought you were my
type. i thought you were different. I thought i wanted
you.
Then all of a sudden things took a nasty turn. I lost you.
We aren't talking right now. We aren't anything, not even
friends. We were the bestest friends and I lost that. I
lost my best friend. Thats what sucks, and what hurts the
most is that all of it had to happen on my day. My
birthday- well happy fucking birthday to me. I hope it
feels good to realize you ruined it for me. I was having
such a good time and then it all came crashing down. I
didn't do shit but you gave up to quick.
So on that note i just want to say, fuck feelings. it isnt
worth it. i have been through so much in the past i know
that i dont have to or want to deal with bullshit again.
so what started as a goal turned to a friendship felt like
more, is now done completely. All i have to say is happy
fucking birthday to me!?! At least my girl loves me, and
dont worry whit i love you more than any guy will ever get
from me.




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