Tipper

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Ezoic
2006-12-12 01:12:05 (UTC)

I was reading about love

I was reading another person's diary and they were talking
about love and finding it again. This got me thinking,
I'm
not really looking for love, not really even expecting to
fall in love again. I just can't seem to talk
myself into
wanting to look for a reltionship. I mean I just got back
from the store and there was a guy there that actually
turned my eye and we both played the eye game and then
went
to the "smile, head nod" game and after that I told myself-
-
-"Do it Tazzy, go up to him and say "hi" what is the worst
that can happen----I mean he turned my head so I was
attracted to him and I liked the way that he dressed
buuuuutttt, in the end I just mouthed the words "Bye" and
walked away, it just seemed like to much trouble to go
over
there and try to start building a life with someone. What
the hell is wrong with me!!!!!! I mean I see couples
together and I wish that I had that connection again with
someone, someone who I can lean on, cuddle up with, talk
to, ask advise to, and just relax in their arms and forget
all about life for awhile. But the trouble just seems to
much, well, trouble. I think his affair and our divorce
ruined it for me for life, I feel so cold and dead inside,
and it is not a good feeling. I want to be that innocent
happy girl again, how could I have let someone take my
very
being, my soul from me? No one should ever have that much
power over another person. :(


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